blessed

wah! kainis na tagboard..

2007-04-26T15:53:00.000+08:00

Still can't use my tagboard from my PC..brrr..
Anyway..thanks lee! i'm feeling so much better na ..salamat! Godbless!

yahoo! yehey! hip hip hurray!

2007-04-26T15:47:00.000+08:00

i realized that my last post which was about some weeks ago is indeed quite gloomy. And i don't like reading it right now when i'm feeling so much better again.:) thank God!

It was funny because the day after i posted 'it' i felt so much better already.
It was a monday and i went to work. I guess that was all i needed!
To get out of the house and chat and laugh and joke around with my co-workers..who happen to be VERY funny and animated people..

I think that's how counselors get by with all the stress they've mustered through the school year..we make fun of ourselves and laugh at the even the corniest remarks during vactions..haha. i sooo enjoy going to work during school breaks. It's like being back in college with your buddies minus the quizzes and assignments..hahaha..

and! i finally got my summer getaway. Some counselors and i will be going to banaue, batad and sagada this weekend. I'll be out for about 1 week, mountaineering, caving, walking and appreciating nature. i am soooooo excited! (Thanks to the head of this adventure, ate diovie and her good friends) I'm looking forward to sleeping in ifugao huts and eating mountain rice. hehe..
And for more adventure, when we come back home, we will have the Guidance Department's outing at Adventure Haven. We'll be pulling out all that we've learned from C.A.T. and R.O.T.C. (if there is any..haha) and we'll be sweating ourselves out on camp activities.

also, everything about the person who i supposedly could not trust blah blah blah...mentioned in my previous post is now A-okay. i mean i can't believe i even mentioned being bothered by it..haha.. it's good to have an objective perspective once in a while especially if you're drowning in boredom. haha. i know i'm being evasive about this but that's the way i want to keep it anyway..

My sister and i finally got over the MA issue. it's not that we really talked about it and finally resolved it. the issue kind of just died down on it's own.. which is a good thing. i took the entrance test of the my preferred university anyway. I just hope i passed. The math part drained me, naturally. I wasn't able to finish it so what happened was hula-hoops na lang sa dulo..haha.

Oh well oh well, i'm so thankful everything is fine right now. i'm quite excited for no particular reason. maybe because i'm looking forward to how things will unfold in the future and maybe im being more open to risks or maybe because some new things are about to unfold..bwaha!

Thankyou Lord.:)

What comes to mind when you're bored...

2007-04-09T20:12:00.002+08:00

okay.. im having quite a shitty day.. okay, days...

i hate to admit it because my reasons for having so are sooooo petty they can actually come across as pathetic.

i mean compared to other people who have waaay bigger problems than i do, i shouldn't even be complaining!! i have so many blessings to be thankful for.. blessings other people could only dream about yet i choose to feel this way.

to make things worse, i don't want to talk about it with anyone even if im dying to do so. i feel my troubles are so petty that i don't even want other people to hear about them. i feel they'll just look at me and shake their heads and think of how shalow i can be..grrr..

i know these phases in my life will pass sooner or later..sooner i hope. they're just mini-teensy-weensy-microscopic-inner struggles i face once in a while when i'm frustrated or bored or bored or frustrated..

the past week was holy week. i learned a lot of great things but i can't seem to get this gloom off of my chest.. my head is struggling with my emotions once again. ofcourse i know i should listen to what my head is saying but emotions can really be stubborn at times..but i haven't given up. Nope. Still struggling..and will continue struggling till my head gets the better of me.

I've chosen to bury myself in books..good books mind you, i abhor pocketbooks..

atleast books render me moments when i can just escape my own life and my own feelings for the meantime. As an added bonus, i get to learn some good lessons about life and lessons on vocabulary..

frustration plus boredom plus lack of adventures..add em all up and you'll get this..

anyway, let me list down some things that will help in my catharsis:

1. im bored.

2. i need a summer getaway.

3. my sister's irritating me with my decision regarding my MA studies..grrrr

4. someone whom i seemingly could trust and i really wanted to trust turns out to be someone i can't trust after all.

5. i know i'm so much better not minding this someone but i can't seem to stop thinking of this someone.

6. i'm surrounded with so much love by my family and my God yet i can't seem to appreciate them right now..worse, i'm lonely right now. (hate to admit this yet i feel it is essential to my healing if i may call it..)

7. i'm wasting so much time and effort in thinking of nonsense things..

8. i need something new to happen in my life right now..

9. oh! and before i forget, i looked at my crush's (how do you spell that?!!) friendster profile a while ago..and i know he's been in a relationship for like a month or two, but i just wanted to check his profile anyway..and i know im so sourgraping when i say this but my gosh!! his girlfriend looks like his mother!!! "WhaaaT?!" was my first reaction when i saw their picture.. okay okay..his young mother. But still his mother anyway..hahahahahaha! i am soooo bad for saying that but it's good to use defense mechanisms once in a while as Freud said..haha. how i love Psychology!

okay, that's about enough revelation for now. phew..hopefully, things will get better soon.

i really need to go out soon. i know good things are in store for me. and i miss my students. i miss counselling already. it's like i am able to find myself when im helping someone. i come to life when i am able to reach out to someone.

need to finish the book im reading..i just borrowed it..

My Curretn Issues

2007-03-16T12:31:00.000+08:00

i got this from a friend's post in Friendster...
These are just some excerpts from the piece which caught my attention.

Falling in Love by Kent Burn

Just as life itself is
more than the sum of the bones and
muscles and electrical impulses in thebody,
love is more than the sum of the
interests and attractions and
commonalities that two people share.

If you find yourself in love with
someone who does not love you,
be gentle with yourself. There is nothing
wrong with you. Love just didn't
choose to rest in the other person's heart.
If you find someone else inl
ove with you and you don't love him,
feel honored that love came and called
at you door, but gently refuse the
gift you cannot return.
Do not take advantage, do not cause pain.

WHEN HE SEES HIS IMAGE

2007-03-15T14:39:00.000+08:00

**Let me share with you a beautiful reflection by a priest on today's Gospel reading...**

BY: Fr. Sandy V. E.

A story is told of a group of women that met for Bible study.

While studying the book of Malachi, chapter three, they came across verse three which says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." This verse puzzled the women and they wondered how this statement applied to the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out more about the process of refining silver, and to get back to the group at their next Bible study. The following week, the woman called up a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him while at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest, beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith work, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire, where the flames were the hottest, so as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot, then she thought again about the verse that "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the entire time the silver was being refined.

The man answered yes, that not only did he have to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on it the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "But how do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it." (Tina Harrison)

Some of the first words of God that were ever written were, "...he created man in his own image..." This serves as a stamp on each man—God's image has its imprint on all his human creation. Nonetheless, we have to know that while it is already a given fact, it is still a project or a mission that everyone must work to sustain. That imprint must be continually realized in one's person and life. We can only know that "it is done" when the image of God can truly be reflected on our life, such that like St. John, man may be able to say, 'it is no longer I that lives but Christ lives in me.

Father, thank You that You don’' leave me in the flames for longer than necessary.

renewed

2007-02-17T13:42:00.000+08:00

a student gave me a waffle this morning... aaw... *sniff sniff* (tears of joy)

i really should've worked out at the gym last night. laziness got me. brrrr... i saw someone there again... this someone reminds me of someone. i wonder if they're related in any way... shushz.. i don't think so.
i've been feeling lately that i've changed since i last reflected on myself.
new experiences, new friends, new environment, new problems are to blame.
i'm not saying change is bad. it's good actually -- when you change for the good.
i'm also not saying i'm now a bad person. i've just changed. I'm new.
However, i'm not liking the new "new" me. i liked the old me. but i also want change.
i guess i want to be the new "old" me. and i decided to do that starting today.
Hah! sleep deprivation at work.
good quality sleep can really do you a lot of good.
you're able to think better, be more alert, less moody, less emotional... sheesh! it can even help you to resolve to move on and stop ranting about what you don't have that you desperately want to have. uh...correction! "wanted" to have that is...

oh sleep! one of my favorite things in the world!

i think i want to meet new people...i think i should go out more. naah. but sleep is still better..haha.

Missing An "S"

2007-02-06T13:39:00.000+08:00

A student of mine lent me a book - Sleepless in Manila. A compilation of essays, poems, tips, jokes and other literary creations by insomniacs mostly from Manila. One article caught my fancy... I wonder why? Hmmm..i think i know but i choose not to divulge the reason (let me laugh on my own..hehehe). It's quite funny.

Anyway...here it is:

Missing An "S"

by: Bj A. Patiño

I should like to dedicate this enterprise for you

Rita appreciated the tastefulness of his use of "should," questioned the appropriateness of his choice of "enterprise," and with her red-inked tech pen crossed out the offensive word "for".

She put down the pen, pressed the sheet of paper flat underneath her palms, looked out into the night through the glass window of the gas station's 24-hour convenience store, and contemplated whether to continue reading or not.

This was Nelson's third love letter to her and she had yet to see an improvement in his writing. Not that she actually gave him feedback – that would be the height of rudeness. But if he were seriously courting her, he should have at least tried to make a good impression with his language facility.

She often thought of him on sleepless nights such as this. But to clarify the cause-effect relationship: the thought of Nelson did not keep her awake; rather, her sleeplessness made her mind wander to him.

To be sure, Rita did find Nelson interesting. Apparently, he had as a sales representative already been delivering cases of soft drinks to the school cafeteria for many months before she first noticed him when he offered her a free can of cola during pone of her lunch breaks from teaching freshman college classes.

Since then, she has agreed to go out with him a number of times, though only after weekday classes when she had already satisfied herself with checking reams of quizzes. They went on their dates directly from school.

At bedtime, she closed her eyes and saw images of the day's date parading across her eyelids. But instead of being lulled to sleep by those lingering recollections, she followed the march of her memories into the night.

So she thought of him at lengths longer then normal periods of wakefulness allowed.
Rita set aside Nelson's letter, then pulled out a pile of students' essays from her portfolio, a portion of her day's checking quota.

She did some of the marking during the daytime, in the faculty office, but there was no more productive way of lasting through these bouts of sleeplessness than to continue working. Sometimes she did so, in her cramped studio apartment, but her reading backlog of past Newsweek issues and Booksale novels proved to be an irresistible distraction.

So of late she had taken to applying herself in one of the coffee tables at an all-night convenience store a mere 5-minute walk away from where she lived. The place was clean and well-lighted, the air-conditioning comfortably cool, the clerks disinterested – a suitable place to work.

The murderous act of abortion should be banned. On the same hand, the use of contraceptives contributes to our callous attitude toward life.

Rita gripped her red pen and resisted the urge to right down a vulgar remark. She couldn't believe the succession of mistakes this student committed in the span of two sentences.

Most of all, she didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the student's creative use of his hand. Was he trying to impress his teacher with his dubious use of rhetorical virtuosity? It didn’t work. She thought.

Rita flipped back to the first page, at the very top wrote a big bold "F," and then placed the essay at the bottom of the pile.

She was about to begin with the next essay on top, but the prospect of another barrage of errors gave her a pause. She put the pen down, looked into the night, and racked her brains trying to figure out the root cause of the deplorable state of the English language in the country. Then her thought drifted back to Nelson.

That first can of cola in the cafeteria happened six months ago and there had been many other cans of cola between them since – in malls, in movie houses, in the same cafeteria. There could have been more, but Rita turned down his invitations as much as she accepted them.

She didn't want to give Nelson the impression that she was easy to get. She was in her mid-thirties and never had a boyfriend, but that was no reason for her to turn desperate.

She was attractive enough – supple brown skin, petite figure, ample bosom – and she believed she could have had a boyfriend anytime she wanted. She was just too busy with work.

Passing up on some time with Nelson was easier than dealing with the guilt from neglecting her students' papers. Her co-teachers kept telling her to loosen up and learn to have fun. Yes, but there was a lot of work to do. He was a nice guy. Yes, but…

Rita picked up Nelson's love letter and read her way back to where she had left off. She imagined him writing his profusions with the same excitable hand that had time again tried to hold hers, attempts that she edited with her constant demurral.

She recognized a basic sincerity in his courtship. She felt that he was not one to spout words that resonated only because they were hollow.

His words carried weight, had substance, but when he spoke them or even when she read them they were dissonant.

They were a confusion of singular and plural, past and present, f and p. In one of their conversations, Nelson claimed that he was a college graduate. Rita believed him of course.

He was, after all, a professional who worked for a big beverage manufacturer. Yet she couldn'’t remember him wearing anything other than his polo barong work clothes. She was clueless as to his real fashion sense, if he had one at all. She read on:

I am lucky to know you. I care you.

Rita quickly decided that if she were to ever sleep well at night, it wouldn't be beside this man. She grabbed her pen, scrawled a huge "F" on it, and hid it underneath all the other papers.

Daylight was already breaking behind a line of trees across the street. Rita had to go home to take a bath in preparation for her 7:30 class.

She stood up and stretched her limbs for the first time since she came in. She gathered all her papers and stuffed them into her portfolio.

Embracing the bundle of work against her chest, she started walking toward the door. Then she happened to look up at the promotional sign hanging on the ceiling above the cash register.

It was a congratulatory pitch to new graduates:

Your achievement start with this small step...

Rita approached the cashier, pointed up, and told him to his bewildered face that he was missing an “s.”

I Yam What I Yam

2007-02-05T12:12:00.000+08:00

by: Arun Gogna

**Taken from Didache. A reflection on the Gospel on Feb. 4, 2007 (Sunday)**

But by the grace of God I am what I am. – 1 Corinthians 15:10

Do you know the famous superhero who gets his strength from eating spinach?

When he eats the green leaves you will hear a short and familiar music.

Then all of a sudden his muscles get bigger.

No, I am not talking about King Kong but the one with the pipe in his mouth.

He's the lover of Olive Oyle. Yup, I'm talking about Popeye!

I remember his famous phrase, "I yam what I yam."

This phrase is the sad cry of many people today. Instead of admitting their shortcomings,

they say, "I yam what I am!" So they remain the same, they never grow.

Instead of taking on responsibility they declare, "I yam what I yam!" So they miss opportunities that life gives them.

Instead of repenting, they cry, "I yam what I yam!" So they separate themselves from God. Yes, you are what you are, you are the sum total of all your actions, thoughts, attitudes and habits, but that is not all. Because in truth, you are not yet what you will be .

God has so much in store for your life!

He has promised that He will continue what He has begun in you. We are assured of that.

God is making a masterpiece of your life.

And someday, by His grace, you will be.

All At Once

2007-02-03T12:13:00.000+08:00

there are certain people you just keep on coming back to
*he is right in front of you
you begin to wonder could you find another one
compared to *him now *he's in question

and all at once the crowd begins to sing
sometimes the hardest and the right thing are the same

maybe you want *him maybe you need *him maybe you started to compare to someone not there

looking for the right one you line up the world to find
where no questions cross your mind
but *he won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
much longer for you to sort it out

and all at once the crowd begins to sing
sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

maybe you want it maybe you need it,
maybe it's all your running from,
perfection will not come

sometimes we'd never know what''s wrong without the pain

maybe you want *him maybe you need *him
maybe you had *him maybe you lost *him to another

sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

2007-01-24T17:59:00.000+08:00

hah! the computer in the office just got installed two days ago... and the internet, this morning.
So... Yippee!! Hurray!! Woohoo!! Hip hip hurray!!
Okay, i'm overreacting...
i'm just glad i have something to spend my time on during late afternoons of Saturdays when the students have all gone home to their respective provinces instead of chatting with their pretty, eager and sleepy counselor...hahaha! or during preliminary and final exams when all of them prefer to speak to their books instead of us. Boohoo!
Oh well..i'm just happy this handy-dandy computer is finally here! Only thing missing now is the telephone.

I'm waisting - wasting and waiting - (haha! excuse THE me.. I just had to.) time here at the office even if it's waaay past office hours because i'm waiting for Odesa to text me. We'll meet at around 7pm and it's just 6:15...
We resolved to do something productive with our after office hours aside from eating out and resting. And so, i decided to type away my time while humming to the tunes of Sitti (and i find it quite hard to do so...haha), eat chicken noodles infested with immense amounts of MSG (which explains my current headache) while waiting for her.

My partner, Maam Monette got sick today. She was vommitting the whole night last night. What a pity... Stress got her.. Tsk Tsk.

Had one crying session with a student today... right before 5pm. it's about time!! and the student wasn't even mine. it was ma'am monette's. But since she's sick..well..hehehe..ahem ahem..Finders Keepers!:)
As harsh as it may sound, i miss having these kinds of sessions already. They come quite rare this sem. It's not that i like seeing students at their worst...haha! ofcourse not! It's the fulfillment at the end of the session when you get the student to laugh and smile again. It's when you're able to give encouragement and hope...
and my favorite, it's the hug i get to give them and the hug i get back in return.
Aaaaahh.... Hugs are truly one of the best things in the world.

Hey, try it. Hug someone today. On second thought, hug someone a lot today or hug a lot of people today. (beware of creatures called "manyakis" though before trying this activity.)

It will be good for you and for someone else too.:)

updates

2007-01-19T23:05:00.000+08:00

my tagboard doesn't seem to function properly when i use this pc so might as well greet everyone here. Hi! Thanks for those who dropped by...and the Sean guy, cool! just make sure to make proper acknowledgements. hehe! kidding...
*********************************************************************************
Book Review...
Guys, you should check out this book : Misadventures of A Disorganized Young Woman
It was lent to me by my student. The writer is a 30 something old UP Creative Writing Professor. I laughed like crazy at her sarcasm and intelligent humor. Get your dictionaries out for some words will sting you. Favorite chapters were the ones about her name and her cars...wahahaha. Just thinking of it makes my belly hurt. She's sarcastic, real, assertive and fat...according to her...and ofcourse, smart. Her stories were in the form of blog entries. They're about her daily bloopers and mishaps which she always manages to transform into humorous nuggets of well...mishaps. CHECK IT OUT!! She made me wish i could write too..haha.
** It's a yellow book..quite thin...**
*********************************************************************************
Dear Smiley,
i know i said i'll be sitting by your door to see how things will go. But now, i think i'm thinking(excuse the lack of thinking in this part) of walking away already. You seem contented. So does she. and so must i... you don't know i'm waiting by your door anyway... So now, i'm beginning to stand up. about to walk away. and then, when i glance back at you, you smile and i just have to sit by your door again...phuuuwww...
oh dear smiley, please stop smiling at me already....thankyou.
From, me
*********************************************************************************
It's so confusing to be confused!!
*********************************************************************************
i'm beginning to be amused and entertained by the constant complaints i hear from my students. i guess i have no choice but to try and live with them...love them.. (the complaints i mean). it makes work so much easier...hehehe. So bring it on.
**********************************************************************************

2006-11-23T18:55:00.000+08:00

Bakit kaya hindi nalang magtugma lagi mga bagay bagay noh?

yun bang kung ano gusto mo makuha at kung kailan mo gusto makuha, chaka mo siya makukuha. Bat di nalang ganun kasimple? Tuloy, daming nahihirapan, daming nasasaktan, daming nanghihinayang, daming naiilang... VAHKet?!

haha...walang kwentang tanong. basta may maisulat e noh?

madaming sagot sa tanong na yan sa totoo lang. at wala akong balak itype yun. nakakatamad noh! alamin nyo nalang para sa sarili nyo if ever man tinatanong nyo din..haha.

BAsta, sasaya din tayong lahat. Nasasatin naman yun eh.

Naalala ko nga pala, si mam monette, partner ko sa office. Magkaiba kasi kami personality nun eh. Siya yung tipong work-oriented. Ako naman, relationship-oriented. MAy kanya kanyang advantages at disadvantages ang mga personalities namin. anyway, her personality also entails that she is assertive. pag may mali, sabihin niya directly at kaagad. Ako naman, hindi ganun, kung pwedeng hindi mag-confront ng tao, yun ang gagawin ko. Pero sometimes, i wish i could be more like her. yun tipong pag may mali akong nakita, masasabi ko agad para malinaw lahat at maayos kagad lahat. Paminsan kasi ang dami kong gustong sabihin sa mga tao, di ko na nasasabi. Paminsan, gusto kong ipakitang galit ako, di ko mailabas ng maayos...Lumalabas sa ibang paraan.

I don't know if it's an advantage or disadvantage na mabilis mabasa sa mukha ko kung ano nararamdaman ko. Pero may times na magaling akong umarte lalo na pag mapaghahandaan at ineexpect ang mangyayari. sometimes i wish hindi nababasa ang nararamdaman ko. sometimes i wish na nababasa.. ewan ko ba.

Oo, aminin ko may kasalanan din talaga ko. Nagagalit din kasi ako at naiirita. Tao din ako lam mo. HINDI PERPEKTO at hindi naghahangad na maging perpekto. im in touch with reality naman... nakokonsensha din ako sa mga hindi ko magandang ginawa. sori. pero may mga bagay talaga na hindi ko mapipilit o mababago. i don't want to live a lie. naks cliche un ah.haha. anyway,sana wag nalang ding ipilit at baguhin ng iba. kung mangyayari, mangyayari. kung hindi, may ibang dapta na mangyari.

intiendes?Bien.

wow binasa mo pa mga nonsense ko. tibay mo ah. naglalabas lang ako ng saloobin. once again, hindi ko nanaman kasi masabi ng diretso.

2006-11-23T18:42:00.000+08:00

Like what myk said, daming nasa isip ko pero can't seem to put them all into writing.

hindi ako masyadong madramang tao. I don't like too much drama in my life. I'm not saying that sadness or loneliness is a no-no. Actually, i encourage my students to come to terms with their negative feelings eh. i just don't think it's necessary to always dwell on them. Sayang, maikli lang ang buhay...masasayang sa sobrang kadramahan. Pero syempre, may panahon talagang kung tawagin ay "blues" kung saan gusto mo lang magpaka-senti, makinig sa heartbreaking songs, humiga, patayin ang ilaw at magdrama... I need those moments din naman. Yun nga lang, yoko ng puro ganun lang at laging ganun lang. Pero and contradicting nga eh kasi counselor ako so buong araw, problema ng iba ang pinapakinggan ko...at well, nag-eenjoy naman ako. nafufulfill siguro kasi alam ko kahit papano, kahit sa simpleng pakikinig at pagtango lang e nakakatulong na ko sa iba.

Eto ha, kaw ba naman, imaginine mo, what if ang kasama mo buong araw ay isang taong wala ntg ginawa kundi mag-complain, sirain ang sarili o siraan ang ibang tao o mangchismis... buong araw!! hindi ka rin ba maririndi at magsasawa? ewan ko sanyo pero ako, hindi naman ako magpapaka-ipokrita at magmamagaling para sabihing kakayanin ko yun... I think there's a distinction between being there for them and them being over-the-top. Hindi din naman ako perpekto at santa para sabihing hindi ako nagrereklamo at nag-chichismis pero i know people don't want to talk about my problems everytime we see each other ot everytime we talk. Baka magkaron pa ng classical conditioning na pag nakita nila ko, problema kagad ang response nila..hehe. Yoko naman nun. Sana pag nakita nila ko, matuwa sila at mapangiti. yun ang gusto ko. Wala namang particular na tao o mga tao akong iniisip habang sinusulat ko toh. Naisip ko lang..in general baga. Hindi lang talaga ako madramang tao..inexpand ko lang yung first sentence ko. Paminsan, kala lang ng iba siguro.hahaha.

The KNIFE

2006-09-24T23:35:00.001+08:00

This knife used to be dull. Incapable of hurting me. Powerless over me.
It could force itself upon me and I would feel nothing.
It could stab me at the back but it could never touch my heart...until now.
Now, just the mere thought of it hurts me.
To feel its presence near me makes me nervous...shiver... in a good way.
It has gained some sort of control and power over me.
I like it and dislike it at the same time.
This sensation is just plain STRANGE. It's WEIRD.
I want it to be gone but at the same time I want it to always be there.
No. The knife is not at fault. I don't blame it.
I am hurt by it because I have allowed it to.
I gave it control over me. I let my heart feel its sharp edges.
And I can't seem to reverse what I did anymore.
Make it lifeless in my sight the way it was before.
Atleast for now I think.
The knife is not at fault.
It is a mere instrument lying around in the world.
I picked it up.
I held its handle.
I let it cut through my heart. Pierce. Stab.
I gave life to it.
When will I be able to put it down again?
Should I?
Answer me.
Now.

Bob Marley

2006-09-24T23:32:00.000+08:00

Wait a minute.
Let me lean my ear closer to your direction so that I can hear better.
Are you humming the same tune? Are you singing the same song?
Uh oh! This is too difficult... Dangerous.
Hmmm... But are you planning to sing my song for long?
'Till it's too late already?
I hope not.
You're asking WHY?
Well... Because I'm planning to sing it for quite some time.
For now, I've no plans of changing my song.
For as long as I can keep on singing it, I will.
Unfortunately and Fortunately, I can sing songs for a loooong period of time.
Oh how I hope you don't... Please change your song for me. Please do!
We can't sing the same thing together! Nothing will happen to us ever!
I think it's "righter" if you change your song.
No. Please don't think it's a matter of pride.
It's really more an issue of appropriateness.
But I'd understand if you'd still want to hum that tune for a little more time.
Just don't sing it for too long okay?
But wait. Are you really singing the same song?
Humming the same tune?
Or is it just my imagination? Am I just mishearing you?
Let me lean my ear a bit closer to your direction so that I can hear clearly.

SmileY

2006-09-24T23:22:00.000+08:00

Pumasok ako sa isang mansion na napakalaki at napakaganda.
Ang daming mga pinto sa loob.
Bawat pinto, may iba't ibang design. Iba't ibang kulay. Iba't ibang dating.
Natuwa ako sa dami. Parang gusto kong buksan lahat, sabi ko sa sarili ko.
So sinubukan ko nang umpisahan isa isa para matapos ko lahat ng pinto bago matapos yung araw.
Kaya lang, habang isa isa kong binubuksan, nalaman ko na ang bawat pinto ay may iba't ibang laman pala sa loob.
At may mga pintong nakalock. Di na pwedeng pumasok.
Siguro may mga nauna nang nakapasok sa akin at yun na ang pinili nilang pasukan.
Nilock na nila para di na mapasukan pa ng iba.
Although yung ibang pinto, kahit nakalock, yung susi, nakasabit lang sa doorknob.
Siguro nasa sayo na kung bubuksan mo pa o hindi na.
Para sa akin, pag ganun, pinipili ko nalang iwanan. Wag na buksan,
Kahit gaano pa kaganda yung pinto sa labas, dinadaanan ko nalang bilang respeto dun sa una nang nakapili at nakapasok dun.
Kasi kahit ako naman nasa posisyon nung nasa loob na, di ko din gusto na may pumasok pang iba at aagawan pa ako.
So iyon nga. Andami dami talagang pinto.
May mga nabuksan akong ang ganda ng design sa labas biglang sa loob, ang panget pala!!! As in!
O kaya, ambantot!
Meron din masikip masyado o kaya super inet! NakakasakaL!
Meron din super boring sa loob. Puro gray lang yung walls.
Meron din naman, di masyado maganda yung labas pero ang linis at ang presko sa loob.
Meron din okay na yung labas, okay pa yung loob.
Syempre, palalagpasin ko ba yun?! Tinitigan ko naman pag ganun.
Wala lang akong pinapasok at nilolock na pinto kasi naisip ko, yoko pa.
Masyado pa maaga para magstay na sa isang pinto kagad eh andami dami ko pang ibang pwedeng tignan.
Chaka dami pa din akong gustong gawin sana sa labas nang mansion bago pumasok sa isang pinto.
Basta, di pa tamang time para pumasok.
Meron akong nakita na isang pinto na may smiley na deco sa labas, binuksan ko.
Ang bait nga nung nasa loob eh. Iniimbita talaga akong pumasok.
Tinitigan ko muna yung kwarto. Kinilatis.
Okay din. Ang komportable. Ang saya. Ang sarap pumasok.
Pero nung tatapak na ako sa loob, bigla akong napatingin sa banda dulo.
At may nakita akong sobrang gandang pinto!!
Nakuha talaga yung attention ko. Parang kumikintab pa sya sa kalayuan.
Dahil dun, sinara ko muna yung pinto na papasukin ko sana.
Sisilipin ko lang sana muna yung isa bago ako pumasok sa kung saan.
O baka kasi dun na din ako pumasok sa pintong maganda na un.
Alam ko nasaktan ko yung nasa loob nung pintong may smiley.
Kasi akala niya papasok na ako sa kwarto niya eh.
Pero alam kong naintindihan naman niya na ayaw ko pa ding pumasok.
MEdyo nahirapan akong iwan yung pinto na may smiley, pero ginawa ko parin dahil alam ko mas tama kung aalis ako.
So papalapit ako ng papalapit sa magandang pinto sa dulo.
Habang lumalapit ako, naeexcite ako.
Binuksan ko yung pinto, parang ang ganda din nung loob ah!
Naicp ko, ito na ata talaga papasukin ko.
Buti nalang, hindi ako padaos daos sa pagpasok dahil habang tumatagal, may itim na usok palang namumuo sa loob. Nakakasuffocate. Nakakalason.
Natakot ako sa nakita ko kaya bigla kong sinara yung pinto at tumakbo palabas ng mansion.
Hay! Sabi ko, talaga ngang di pa panahon para pumasok ako sa mansion na yan!
Chaka na lang. Tutal dami ko pa din dapat gawin sa labas.
Chaka na pag handa na talaga ako.
So namuhay naman ako ng masaya at maligalig sa labas ng mansion na yun ng may katagalan din.
Nagawa ko din yung mga dapat kong gawin. Natapos yung mga dapat tapusin.
Pero the whole time na nasa labas ako ng mansion at ginagawa ang mga dapat kong gawin, paminsan minsan eh naiisip ko parin ung mga pinto sa loob. Lalo na yung pinto na kumikintab at ang ganda ganda pero may itim na usok sa loob. Natakot din kasi ako nun eh. Hehe.
Pero naisip ko din ng madalas yung pintong may smiley. Naiisip ko paminsan, tama nga kaya na iniwan ko yun. Na di muna ako pumasok?
Naiisip ko kung minsan, What if pinasok ko nga yun noh? Ano na kaya nangyari? Pero in the end, I know na tama ang ginawa ko. Madaming rason. Basta, no regrets ako sa hindi pagpasok.
Sabi ko, someday I will return there. Magbubukas ulit ng mga pinto.
So one day, bumalik nga ako sa mansion na yun.
With a better perspective. With a wiser mind.
Pagpasok ko, hindi na ako basta basta nagbubukas.
Pinagiisipan ko muna bago magbukas.
Palakad lakad ako sa hallway at natutuwa sa iba’t ibang design. Wala pa akong binubuksan ni isa.
Hanggang matapat ako sa isang pamilyar na pinto.
Wait lang! ito yung pinto na may smiley ah! Ito nga!
It had the same aura kasi eh. Kumportable. Inviting. Ang sayA!
Hahawakan ko na sana yung doorknob para sumilip sa loob pero bigla akong natigilan.
Kasi may nakita akong medyo nagbago.
May susi na siya! Nakasabit sa doorknob.
Huh?! Totoo ba toh?!
May tao na sa loob? May nauna na sakin?
E di naman kataka taka na managyari yun kasi nga maganda yung pinto.
Loob at labas.
Napaisip tuloy ulit ako, tama nga ba yung ginawa ko dati na iniwan ang pintong ito?
Tama talaga yung desisyon ko dati eh, naisip ko.
Ganito lang siguro talaga ang buhay dito sa loob ng mansion.
May mga gusto kang pinto na di para sayo o kaya naman dapat hintayin mong lumabas yung nasa loob. Yun ay kung lalabas pa nga ba yung nasa loob. Kasi kung hindi na, maglakad ka nalang ulit at maghanap ng ibang pintong hindi pa nakalock.
Eh hindi naman kasi ako yung tipong pumapasok sa mga nakalock ng pinto. Sisilip siguro, oo. Pero hindi papasok.
Paalis na sana ako pero masyado kong panghihinayang kung di ko man lang sisilipin tong pinto na toh na naiicp icp ko dati nung nasa labas pa ako ng mansion.
So yun, ginamit ko yung susi at dahan dahang sumilip at nakinig sa loob.
Ganda parin nung nasa loob. Masaya parin at maaliwalas.
Pero as expected...may tao na sa loob. Nung una, nakita ko na okay na okay siya sa loob. Di na siguro lalabas toh dito, naisip ko. Talagang maghahanap nalang ako ng iba.
Pero after a few minutes, narinig ko, may umiiyak sa loob. Parang nagkaproblema ata ah.
Later on, nalaman ko, may problema nga. Lalabas na kaya siya dahil dun?
Mukhang hindi eh. Kahit yung nasa loob ayaw ata siyang lumabas. Masyado na silang naging okay eh. Chaka if ever man lumabas yung nasa loob, kailangan pa magpalipas ng panahon para ayusin yung mga medyo naubos o nasira sa loob ng kwarto. Siyempre, may nag-occupy sa loob eh, malamang kailangan ayusin muna bago ma-occupy ulit. Parang hotel baga. Kahit naman ako, yoko ng magulong kwarto noh.
Dahil dun, pinili ko nang isara na ng tuluyan yung pinto. Ayaw ko din naman kasing makidagdag sa gulo. Mali yun at Maling panahon ito. Pero kahit sinara ko na yung pinto. Di parin ako makalakad papalayo. Pinagiisipan ko pa kung lalakad na ba ako paalis o uupo muna ako dito sa labas.
Hay! Di ko alam! Naguluhan ako!
Alam ko, ang dapat kong gawin ay maglakad lakad na ulit at tumingin ng ibang pinto.
Lalo na yung di pa nakalock.
Pero parang ayaw ko muna. Papahinga lang muna ako at uupo.
Dito sa tapat ng pintong may smiley.
Hindi naman sa umaasa pa akong lalabas yung nasa loob. Pero para lang matitigan yung pinto from the outside. Para kahit naglakad na ako paalis, yung memory niya, malinaw parin sa utak ko.
So yun, nakaupo ako ngayon dito sa labas ng pintong may smiley.
Napapangiti dahil sa smiley na deco niya. Pero nalulungkot din paminsan dahil sa lock na nakasabit sa doorknob niya.

2006-09-02T17:33:00.000+08:00

Wow!it's been a long two weeks for me...
it feels good to stay here in the library and just sit among the students.
this makes me feel nostalgic.
haaah...how i miss college.
but don't get me wrong, it feels good to be working already.
it's just funny sometimes how you see things in a different light.

sometimes i say to myself, "ganto pala pakiramdam ni mam vida dati
sa ming mga students.
(to those who don't know. mam vida and mam leny were my guidance counselors during
college and highschool respectively.)
Ganito pala...

I began my routine interviews i think 3 weeks ago.
it's our chance as counselors to be able to meet and speak with all of our students.
in my case, that's about 835 students...Phew.

so far, i think i've been able to interview hmmm...35?
hahaha! no, actually i think i've been able to do more than that already.
maybe about...200.
so you see, i've still got a loooooooooooong way to go.
What do i ask?
ofcourse, the routine questions.
i've been able to memorize them already.

ME: so, (name of student), what was your first choice when you took the USTET?
Student:(usual answer is...) Huh?
** so i repeat my script..**
Student: Ah...ano po...(the program)
ME: How about your second choice?
Student: (the program)
ME: okay. (name of student), what are your skills and interests?
Student: (usual and annoying answers include:)
1. ummm, ano po...aaah..hmmm....hehehe..ano po...sandali po...aaahh..hmmm..Ah eh, wala po eh.hihi!
2. math po. (sheesh!!)
3. computer games po... (DOTA Generation)
4. ano po, madami eh. okay lang? music, movies, fashion, singing, dancing, debating, writing, acting, declaiming, writing, drawing, oainting, arts and crafts, designing, photography, cars, parties, musical instruments-piano, guitar, drums, bass, keyboard, flute, harmoninca, recorder, tambourines, bongos, kudyapi.....(and the list goes 0n...HUWAW!ONE MAN BAND ANG BATANG ITO!!) sports - basketball, volleyball, tennis, table tennis, bowling, badminton, swimming, softball, chess, taekwando, judo, fencing...(again, the list goes on)

ME: Why did you choose your current college accountancy?
Student: (again the usual and annoying answers include:)
1. ummm....aaaaahhh....hehehehe...hmmm...ano po eh..kasi ganito un...aahhh...eh...hehe..mahaba pong story eh..ummm...kasi po yung mommy ko gusto nya para sakin, nursing. dadi ko naman po, civil engineering daw kunin ko. ung tita ko naman po, sinugest na mag med-tech daw po ako para mag med after. eh ate ko po, psych cya. sabi niya okay din daw po un. kuya ko po, agree sa dadi ko na engineering. Pero ECE nalang daw po. wag civil...
ME: AAahh okaayyy...um, so bakit nga accountancy pinili mo? um, mahilig ka ba sa math or something?
Student: opo.
ME: (hokey!!!!!)
ME: Do you have plans to shift to another college? Regardless of grades ha..Yes, No, o Maybe?
Student: um, No po.
ME: okay. How certain are you that you are placed in the right college? very certain, certain, doubtful?
Student: Doubtful po.ME: (huhh??!!! kala ko ba no plans of shifting?!)

Finally, the interview ends here..
well, at least after 835th student.
So you see, this routine interview is really routine.
Sometimes, you just have to find the humor in things so ordinary in order to survive.
hehe..

Nonetheless, i love my students.
their varied personalities and stories interest me and amaze me.
The only "unroutine" thing about the routine interviews are the students.
one bonus is, i am able to practice and extend my patience during these
interviews....also my ability to hold my need to pee.hehe.

i find it funny when my students don't know what to call me.
There's mam ofcourse. there's miss. and then there's ate. also, mommy/mami...even tita!!
haay...
anyway, so much funny stories out of such ordinary days.
Makes me smile by myself once in a while...

Trouble Sleeping

2006-08-11T21:16:00.000+08:00

It's late and I'm feeling so tired
Having trouble sleeping
This constant compromise
Between thinking and breathing

Could it be I'm suffering
Because I'll never give in
Won't say that I'm ................
Tell me I don't see myself
Couldn't I blame something else
Don't say I'm ..................

Some kind of therapy
Is all I need
Please believe me
Some instant remedy
That can cure me completely

So nobody say it
Don't even say it
I got my eyes shut

Could it be I'm suffering
Because I'll never give in
Won't say that I'm ...................
Tell me I don't see myself
Couldn't I blame something else
Don't say I'm ......................

Don't say that I'm ................
Don't say that I'm ...................
Don't say that I'm ......................
Don't say that I'm .........................

2006-08-11T20:55:00.000+08:00

Heard this song the other day....

What goes around, comes around
What goes up, must come down

Darn! Do I even believe in this crap?!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What's On Your Mind?
(Colehiyala Vershon)

I find it sooooo annoying when someone makes
tanong to you then even before you make sabi
your reply, di na agad niwala sayo!

Por Eksampol:

Siya: O bat wala ka pang boyfriend?!
(with the tone of voice na if you don't
have a boyfriend pa, you're like so
left out and eng-eng)

Ako: (trying to explain with an ever-smiling
to the tenga face pa...) E kasi, I believe...

Siya: (rudely intruding!!) Hmmmmmm?! Talaga ah?!!
(with matching kaaasar na mukha wherein
one of the eyebrows is so taas to the sky
and the bibig is ngisi to one side - the same
side of the kilay na to the sky ang taas).

Ako: (trying to be patient pero my ngiti is not
tenga-level high na kasi kawala na ng some sort
of gana...)
Ahehe! Oo naman! Kasi... (me trying to explain ulit
my views chuvanesce)

Siya: (again ulet intruding!!) Hmmmmmm?!! Talaga?!!

Ako: (in my utak only afcurs)
Aba buwiset toh ah! Wag mo na kaya ako make
kausap kung di ka din naman make believe and
make pakinig sakin?!!!
Grrrrrrrr..........

> Nevermind!
> I survived the conversation naman, thank God!
> Struggle!!

Author' note:
Characters and replies were exaggerated
to drive home a point.
Although the frustration was for real...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I was at the office/slash/school. I went to the washroom
to do what all of us do there.
And so, as I was doing my thing, I was looking around, pondering...
and then, something caught my attention.

the Product label of the cubicles in the washroom read:

JEBSen

Nice, I thought! Talk about being appropriate. Bwahahaha!!

Newness

2006-07-31T19:38:00.000+08:00

By: Bo Sanchez

When the young man is courting a woman, he
always opens the door of his car for her. But this
practice doesn't last very long.

Sometimes though, you still see the husband
opening the car door for his wife.

But that could only mean two things.
One, the car may be new. Or two, the wife
may be new.

Why does this happen?

Early on in the marriage, the man is greeted
from work with the dog barking and his wife
giving him his slippers. But a year later, he is
welcomed by the dog bringing him the slippers
and the wife barking.

Again, why does this happen?

Because we don't recognize the mystery of
God in each other.

We forget how beautiful each person is - and
how each person deserves our respect. We forget
that we walk amidst Tabernacles of God, Holy
Prophets, and Glorious Kings.

**********************************************************
Lord, let me recognize You in the people I deal with everyday. Give me humility to learn from them.

241

2006-07-31T19:18:00.000+08:00

I want to live forever
Inside the night and days.
Wishing on a silver cloud,
Crawling across the moonbeams.

A summer night in heaven
Between the stars and waves.
Race across the old bonfire,
Trample on my heartbeat.

I wanted to turn you on
My favorite song.
Wanted to be near you
But somebody owns you now

................. with a fire,
Ablazing till times end
But what good is a heart
When it shudders to speak.
I guess it's too late now.

I tried to live somehow
Somebody owns you now

I wanted to turn you on
My favorite song.
Wanted to be near you
But of course somebody owns you now.
And I tried to live somehow
Somebody owns you now
Somebody owns you now

2006-06-18T15:03:00.001+08:00

it's ironic sometimes how you can talk to someone who is the epitome of someone you know you should avoid.
i guess friendship transcends barriers..
just make sure it's just friendship.

An Ode To You

2006-05-22T16:37:00.000+08:00

I look at him from a distance.
I observe him.
I've discovered lately that observing in anonymity
Is becoming one of my favorite pastimes.
He doesn't look his age at all.
He looks a few years younger.
That's a compliment for him, I guess.
He exudes confidence, energy, strength, esteem,
Roughness and at times, hints of anger.
He is an accomplished man... at least in his and my standards.

I look at him and I think: I love him, but at times, I just
Can't help but hold grudges at him.
I reluctantly enumerated in my mind, the things I can't
Help but loathe about him.
I decided to give in because I knew I needed it for my own growth,
My own reflection.
I know. How selfish of me.
But I figured, I'll just keep things to myself.

He can be really proud of me at times and I smile.
We smile.
But then, his mood swings can kill me.
He can be happy, or angry, or tired that day.
But his facial expression would come from just one starting point.
I simply cannot predict him.
I don't like unpredictable people.
I don't understand them. So I don't know how to interact with them.
On second thought, I like unpredictability.
I like surprises. The kinds that you never knew were coming.
Just not on him.
I want him to be a bit more comprehensible.

And then, I finally looked at myself.
I am shocked to discover we have a lot of similarities.
More than I wish we had.
I was a bit frightened because I suddenly had a vision
Of a part of the person I was becoming.
And I did not like this part of me that I saw.
I guess too much time spent with him made me similar to him.
But he is unavoidable.
Inevitable in my life.

Relief and thanksgiving came over me when
I remembered that God accepts and loves my entirety.
He takes the good with the bad.
He calls me to do the same.
Not only to him - that man I am looking at - but also,
To the other people around me.

Back to him.
He can really get on my nerves sometimes.
But I choose to let it go.
I also choose instead, to remember his beauty, his goodness.
I guess that's why I gave in to enumerating his faults.
So I can eliminate them from my system, from my heart.

I love him. And he loves me.
That's what's important.
That's what matters.
Besides, we are left with no choice but to choose to love
Each other every single day of our lives.
Funny...the irony.

Dreams You Choose To Remember

2006-05-22T16:27:00.000+08:00

I would like to live in a place that doesn't look like a city. I want to live in a place surrounded by gardens of flowers, vegetables and herbs. Fresh air, clean surroundings, no tall buildings, no noisy cars and trucks.

I want to live by the countryside. Or maybe by the beach. I want to live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and everyone greets everyone and everyone smiles at everyone.

I want a simple and small house with a large, spacious yard. I want a porch where I can just sit and drink fresh juice and read fantastic books or have pleasant conversations with my neighbors.

I want to have a big and well-lighted kitchen where I can just cook and bake all day. And I would just get my ingredients from my very own garden.

Then, if there is something else I needed to buy, I'd just get in my convertible BMW and drive downtown to get everything I need from the local bakery or the local grocery or the local flower shop or the local farmer's organic market or the local meatshop.

**SIgh** I wish I knew how to bake and drive.

In that small town, I want my own, charming and high-quality food store. In that store, there would be coffee, tea, baking ingredients, bread, honey, spices, desserts, cheese, cream, eggs, jam, cookies and lotsa love ready to be purchased by everyone. All of superior quality.

And then, I would go home to cook for my husband and he would be this sweet, funny, adorable, kind, gentle man who appreciates everything that I whip up for him.

I would be fat then because of cooking and food-tasting, but still beautiful. Graceful. I want to be graceful when I grow old. And we would both be a bit old already, maybe around our 50s. But he could still see beyond my physical qualities and see the woman he fell in love with years ago. And I would see the same in him.

We would have friends come over for small parties, all kinds of parties - cocktail, barbeque, breakfast, lunch, dinner - you name it, we give it. Everyone would love our small get-togethers.

Then, at the end of the day, when my husband doesn't have to stay out for work, we would end up cuddling and hugging each other while lying in our comfortable and beautiful bed.

We would be talking about each other and how each other's day went. Then, we'd sigh and thank God for that moment and for every moment like that. Because these moments make us say - "This is heaven on earth."

Sigh...daydreaming again... I think I've been watching Ina Garten too much. **Barefoot Contessa**

You asking where the children are? Oh, that's another dream.

2006-04-30T15:15:00.000+08:00

i cut my hair yesterday.
i cut it REALLY short.
and im happy with it.
it was like all the school years went away with the hair that was removed.
and now, it's time to face a new world, new experiences, new lessons...
ANG PRESKO!
woohoo!!

*******************************************************************

it's Sunday.
i love Sunday songs...
i realized that when i grow up and have a family of my own,
these old songs are one of the things i will surely miss every Sunday...
i heard MY SoNg- Top Of The World- by the Carpenters
i called it my song because i like it so much that i believe i already have the right to own it..
**Grin**
"Such a feeling's comin over me...lalalalalalala"
hehehe

*******************************************************************

so many things to be thankful for.
i was just pondering.. i am not the richest, prettiest, smartest, sexiest....and all the other "...iests" in the world, but i don't care!
I DON'T CARE! **one last time** I DON'T CARE!!
i have so much to be thankful for.
nope. i definitely don't have the perfect life.No.No.
but still, i belive and i know i have a lot.
THanKYou God!!

********************************************************************

i recently found out that i have to eat a LOT of lettuce everyday.
atleast a big serving of salad everyafternoon.
so i decided, i'm starting a lettuce garden.
i presented my proposal to my parents...and they loved it!
after explaining to them how minimal the capital was going to be and how low maintenance the plants would be, and how it could maybe be a mini-business in the future,
my dad went to work..ahihi!
good thing my dad is a handyman (love u pA!)
i planted the seeds yesterday.

********************************************************************

i'm getting a bit sunburned because of tennis lessons late in the morning...ouch! itchy! lovin it!

********************************************************************

Semana Santa

2006-04-18T15:02:00.000+08:00

I spent the holy week in Pampanga. We stayed there from Wednesday to Sunday evening. Actually, it was a Thursday already since we left home past 11pm so we arrived at Pampanga by 1am... Weird!:)

I wanted to make my holy week special this year by doing something different but it seemed like I had no time to plan what I was going to do. I later figured, it wasn't really because i had no time, I was just too lazy...Grrrr!

Anway, I opted to do something more important and more meaningful instead. I chose to do some things different on the inside... I discovered I still have a lot of building and reconstructing to do.

During Holy Thursday, we were blessed enough to arrive early at church and so we managed to sit on a pew that was near the altar. I thought it was going to be just another Holy Thursday mass where the priest washed the feet of the apostles... But God was so good to grant me the grace to see the significant event in a new light. As I watched the priest imitate Christ in washing the feet of the apostles and with all humility, even kissed their feet, it was like I saw the whole thing for the first time. I was overwhelmed and I was in awe.

Something hit me so hard inside. It was like I was truly seeing my God doing that... it was a beautiful sight. It was a beautiful deed. It was a LOVING deed. My eyes agreed with my heart. They showed there appreciation and understanding by giving off tears.

It was like I was hearing Christ all over again, saying, "DO THE SAME".

Good Friday. It was good indeed. We joined the annual procession wherein we walked around town barefoot. In my heart, I knew it was our way of sharing Jesus' sacrifice and suffering. It was like walking with Him, letting our evil desires and passions, our temptations and guilt, die within ourselves as well. It was tiring yet fulfilling.

Saturday... We didn't go to church. We spent time at our kubo. It was time with the family. GLorious!

Sunday. The happiest day of all time! EASTER!! I was ecstatic and it was like something inside me told me that a new me has been given a chance to live. We were late for mass to our dismay, but God was gracious enough to bless us with lessons that would remain in our hearts.

A preacher was right in saying that having had attended mass should not be measured by what part of the mass you arrived. Instead, the real measure of having had attended mass is if you came out of the church a better person than were when you came in. If you became a bit more like Christ after attending mass, then you truly did attend mass.

Ofcourse, I knew in my heart that it was not an excuse for being late for mass...hehe! Nothing beats celebrating the whole Sacrament.

The same preacher could not be any more correct when he said that the Holy Week isn't all about just giving up something or sacrificing...it is more about RECEIVING.

Receiving God's Love.
Receiving God's Mercy.
Receiving God's Life.
Receiving God's Grace.
Receiving HIM...

Bangungot!!!!!!

2006-04-12T17:00:00.000+08:00

I had a dream about 3 days ago. It was a weird, scary, stressing and funny dream.

Characters:
Me - the main character in the dream

Pamar - my bestfriend /slash/ the "supporting actress" in the dream

XXXXXXX - a guy in the dream who happens to be a friend of mine in real life **yes, there is history here...**

stranger - a guy in the dream who I do not know at all and whom I did not see in my dream.
His presence was just simply felt.
It's like in the dream, you don't see this person but you know he is
part of the story.

The dream:

The setting of the dream was in our house. I dreamt that I was with Pamar and XXXXXXX and I was feeling very stressed and worried and somewhat afraid.

I was supposed to marry the stranger the next day. I didn't know why, I just knew I had to marry the next day.

I can't remember clearly if I didn't want to marry the stranger or he was not going to be able to make it the next day to marry me. I just knew I had to be wed (huwhaaaat??!!!).

But what I can remember is that I was feeling stressed and worried because I did not want to get married yet. Not the next day!! I knew I wasn't ready yet.

Then as if to solve everything, XXXXXXX was going to take the place of the stranger! He volunteered to marry me and it seemed that everyone was up for the idea!!!! Except me!

I didn't want to but I couldn't say a word. (You know how dreams are... You wanna fly, you can't fly. You're about to get the money, then you wake up. you fall from a waterfall, then you wake up kicking the air! Frustrating!!)

It was like I didn't want to mar his "knight in shining armor" proposition so I just kept silent, but my heart was bleeding inside. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with XXXXXXX! (I'm talking about my feelings in the dream. In reality, I don't think I would want to marry him also. At least that's how I feel about it at this time...hehe!).

In my dream, there was this weird scene where we were sleeping - me, Pamar, and XXXXXXX - in that order. Pamar was in between us and I felt relief in seeing that.

There was another scene where we were all preparing for the wedding the next day and XXXXXXX was going to whisper something to me but I pulled away.

The dream is just like a blur to me now. All I can remember are the feelings that I had.

Scared to get married!
Feeling unprepared!
Feeling helpless!
Knowing I was going to make the biggest mistake of my life yet not being able to do something about it.

I can't remember how the dream ended. I'm just glad it did.

I woke up feeling tired but relieved at the same time. The dream bothered me the whole day...

But now, I just console myself by remembering that Sir B once mentioned during our Psychology classes that dreams are theorized as mere random thoughts going through our neurons as we sleep. Aaaaahhhh...

I don't think I would like to talk to Freud about this dream! hehe!

bakit ganun?!

2006-04-06T15:19:00.000+08:00

gusto ko talaga sumama sa youth camp!!gusto ko sumama!gusto ko sumama!gusto ko sumamaaaaaah!!

sana pwede parin akong mag-tantrums katulad nung dati nung bata pa ako para payagan ako pumunta sumwer...

haY!!paero baka naman paluin din ulit ako...nevermind..

natatawa na lang ako sa nanay ko paminsan eh:

aku: ma, pano na ung sa youth camp, sama ako ha.ttext ko nlang ung organizer kung pwede pa ako humabol.

ma: wag ka na sumama dun!

aku: Huh?! bahkeeht?!!

ma: wla ka naman kilala dun eh!

aku (sa isip ko lang): huh?! kaya ka nga pupunta dun diba, para makipagkilala!!
aku: ma, gusto ko nga may makilalang bago eh...

ma: ...................

pagka ganyan na ang eksena, wag ka na umasa!!haha!

pero umaasa pa naman ako..
hay nako, papaalam na nga ako...ULET!!

baki ganun, ung ibang magulang, anak ang pinipilit na sumama sa mga ganyan?
bakit samin, ako pa namimilet?!

hay layf...buhay talaga!hehe!ooops, dowana compleyn..

yakity-yak

2006-03-30T17:10:00.000+08:00

The vacation has been able to give me time to finally relax
and just lie around and think about nothing... (related to school, I mean).
It also gave me time to listen to my old cds... and incidentally,
I fell upon the songs of Sheryl Crow. I kinda like her, lalo na ngayon na
she's with Lance Armstrong na. Medyo off pa ako sakanya during her
Marilyn Manson days eh. Anyway, that's another story...

So yun nga, I fell upon her songs. And I just couldn't let go of some of her lines:

I'd be the last to help you understand
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Cause you can't change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?

When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?

Hay naku. Sabi nga nila, women need constant reassurance! Blah blah... hahaha!
I'm just singing, haler?! Saya niyang kantahin eh, ewan ko ba pero
I feel like a woman talaga pag kinakanta ko yung song na yan.

A person is like a light bulb. Sometimes it's ON, and sometimes it's OFF.
Although it is meant to give light, sometimes it has to be turned off.

KOneksyon?! Haha!

A person has her USUAL days when she's her USUAL perky and enthusiastic self.
But she also has her DOWN days when she's all DOWN and lazy and unpretty.
Point is, she's still the same USUAL person who is meant to give light as a light bulb.
She just has to be turned off sometimes.
Waaah! Gulo! Hehe!
Basta, yun na yun. Naintindihan ko naman yung sinabi ko eh, ok na yun. Hehe!

So yung song na yun, it's like asking,
"pag naka-OFF ako, ARE YOU STRONG ENOUGH TO BE MY MAN?"

Charing!!

Sa mga in-love dyan, pretend that the one you love is asking you the same question...
See for yourself, evaluate yourself... are you really in love?

Kung oo... edi BONGGA!!! hahaha! Fiesta!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Bythe way, miss you guys!!

Para sa inyo 'to

2006-03-06T17:51:00.000+08:00

Graduations are always bitter-sweet. You're happy because you've accomplished something as big as school and sad because you'll be leaving years of childhood and the friends you've made. Although you and your friends will not totally separate and you will still get the chance to see each other, no one can deny that after graduation, the bonding will not be the same.

We will all begin to live our own lives - apart from each other.
We will all learn different things and we will all grow in different ways.

Leaving school and finally graduating makes you think about what you've been through and the people you shared those moments with - then you cry. This is the time when you wonder why you wasted so much time and energy harboring hatred, grudges and complaints towards your classmates. You regret the times you chose to frown at your blockmate when instead you could have just smiled. This is the time you wish you had more time - together. This is the time when you want to hang-out with each other before everything finally, officially ends - disregarding your differences and disagreements.

Things we could have done earlier begin to come to mind.

Graduation is a joyous moment- it marks the end of one challenge...a challenge you conquered, and the beginning of a new one - one that will make you wiser and stronger.

During the last moments of being a student, I chose to look around. Ponder. Just observe... and relish the event. I watched my precious friends and asked myself, what will I miss most about all this? I said:

mamimiss ko ang pag-upo sa classroom at ang pagiging estudyante

mamimiss ko ang ingat at saya ng mga kaklase ko

mamimiss ko ang kakulitan at asaran ng PLP

mamimiss ko ang tarayan at prangkahan nina Lou-anne, Ren, Jen at Jaycee

mamimiss ko ang pagsayaw nina Jorge at Ro-anne

mamimiss ko ang lalambingan ni Kyang...ang nakakahawang kaba nina Lele at She pag may test...ang pagkabloopers ni Nina...ang killer smile at killer looks ni Jelo

mamimiss ko ang mga kiss at reviewers ni mylabs gay...at ang partner kong si Caesar

mamimiss ko ang bango at kaseksihan ni Vee at ang tawa at jokes ni Jhyugarr Ali

mamimiss ko ang mga banat ni Trish

mamimiss ko ang katahimikan at kahinhinan nina Pai, Phnas, Rhez at Ana

mamimiss ko ang halimuyak (hehe) at mga arguments ni Alan

mamimiss ko ang halakhak at French ni Pareng Gjeff

mamimiss ko ang pag-aya ni Myk...ang boses at mga kwento ni Lei...

mamimiss ko ang pangungulit ni Lynard...ang kafeelingan (hehe!joke!) at tawanan namin ng seatmate kong si Esdi

at higit sa lahat, mamimiss ko ang mga kabarkada ko...
Lahat ng hirap at sayang pinagsamahan namin... Parang mga kapatid ko na tong mga to...

In short, lahat mamimiss ko.

Naisip ko, sa haba ng panahon naming magkakasama, ang dami nang memories na nabuo namin together.
There were bad ones, but mostly, good ones.

Just like in high school, I‚Äôm sure no matter how hard we try to retain what we have now, our bonding will not be the same forever - di maiiwasang magkaganon dahil may kanya-kanya na tayong pupuntahan. But whatever happens, even if our bond may change in the future, our memories and the feelings that come with it, never will. They have been established in our hearts. That's why, let's forget about the bad memories we had. Let's remember the good memories and let's continue to make them while there is still time. Someday, these memories are all we'll ever have.

Thank you blockmates for everything! I am so thankful to have known you all. Thank you for letting me into you lives. May God bless us all in our plans and endeavors. You will all be in my heart and in my prayers forever. I Love You so much!

CONGRATULATIONS guys!! Job Well Done!

I'm so proud to be part of 4PSY3 Batch 2006! --DYNAMIC!--

sacred delight

2006-03-01T09:25:00.000+08:00

it's the kind of Joy only One person can give.
it's the kind of Joy that does not depend on circumstances.
it's the kind of Joy you decide to have.
it's the kind of Joy that lasts forever.
it's the kind of Joy you have when you think of Heaven--of Home.
it's the kind of Joy that liberates you.
it's the kind of Joy that fills you and lifts you up.
it's the kind of Joy i'd love to have.
it's the kind of Joy i'd live for...

riddle riddler...

2006-02-21T00:05:00.000+08:00

i am a favorite word of most psychologists...

unconsciously done by most...

i live in the word of whys and hows...

i believe only in myself...

i like to get my own way...

because i believe i am the only way...

am a defense mechanism favored by most...

I live in the world of r-e-a-s-o-n

*******************************************
i prefer to live in the world of faith.
in the meantime, i guess i'll just have to
understand for those who cannot.

mga bubblegum...

2006-02-20T23:57:00.000+08:00

ang bubblegum, madikit..
lalo na yung mga nanguya na
kahit anong iwas mo sa pag-apak, makakaapak ka talaga ng
bubblegum sa ayaw at sa gusto mo.

dyahe pag may bubblegum sa sapatilya mo
kaya pilit mong tinatanggal sa pamamagitan
ng pagpahid sa sahig
pero mahirap tanggalin
madikit talaga eh

maiisip mo na lang
sana naman wag manira ng sapatilya tong
bubblegum na to
nakiki"ride" na nga lang sa stride mo eh

paminsan, hindi meant na matanggal sa sapatilya
mo ang mga bubblegum

kaya no choice ka na lang
kundi iconsider na kasama siya ng sapatilya mo
bagong design baga
kaya no choice ka na lang
kundi mahalin na din siya na parang
pagmamahal mo sa sapatilya mo

Sana, mahalin din ng bubblegum na madikit ang sapatilya mo.

LOVE HUNG ON A CROSS

2006-02-16T08:35:00.000+08:00

(In the Eye of the Storm)

He looked around the hill and foresaw a scene. Three figures hung on three crosses. Arms spread. Heads fallen forward. They moaned with the wind.

Men clad in soldier's garb sat on the ground near the trio...

Women clad in sorrow huddled at the foot of the hill... faces tear-streaked.

All heaven stood to fight. All nature rose to rescue. All eternity poised to protect. But the Creator gave no command.

'It must be done..." he said, and withdrew.

The angel spoke again. "It would be less painful..."

The Creator interrupted softly.

"But it wouldn't be love."

A moment of BLiSs...

2006-02-10T18:38:00.000+08:00

For a moment, I felt guilt get a grab of me.

And I thought:
"In my lifetime, I haven't loved enough yet. I haven't loved as much as I can.
Is it possible that I won't be able to reach that point which other people have already attained?
Have I just been lying to myself all this time?
Has GREED, ARROGANCE & APATHY taken their toll on me?
Am I not capable of truly loving?

But then, after that dreadful moment of guilt came the blissful moment of grace that I knew only God could give.

And he said such wonderful things.

It is impossible for me to not be able to love truly.

Why?

Because my Father is the God of Love. He created Love. He is Love.

And Love, can overpower any greed, arrogance or apathy I have in my heart.

If my Father is Love, and He created Love, that means that I am incapable of not loving.

He created me and so that means that Love is innate in me. It cannot be taken away from me nor destroyed.

It's like: Me without Love is not Me at all...I would cease to exist, in short.

I will truly love. I was created to do so. It is my purpose.

Then I remembered, I have truly loved. My Father taught me.

"Ask forgiveness and throw away your guilt.
God does not want you to wallow in it; He wants you to live what he taught you to do."

I tell myself...

Wala nanamang kuryente!

2006-02-04T23:29:00.000+08:00

Magkatext kami ni esdi kahapon tapos nabanggit niya na nakasalubong daw niya bestfriend ko, si Pamar. May kasama daw tatlong lalaki...

"Wala ka pala eh.." sabi pa ng mokong! (Peace tayo esdi!hehe!)

Sabi ko mga barkada niya siguro yung mga kasama niya, pero totoo na may tatlo ngang boylets yun ngayon.

Haba ng hair ano? hehe.

Sabi naman ni esdi, "Mga babae talaga oo.."

Sabi ko "hinde!tatlo ang nagpaparamdam sakanya ngayon o nanliligaw ata..hindi tatlo ang bf niya! Hindi naman ganun si Pamar no. Nag-generalize ka nanaman."

Tapos eto na, tinanong ako ni esdi,
"eh sayo, wala bang nagpaparamdam sayo ngayon?"

Natigilan ako at nag-isip...

Nag-isip pa ulit...

at nag-isip pa...

aba leche!wala ata ah!

sabi ko kay esdi, "none that i know or am sure of...ay, wala pala talaga."

"Wala nga?!" sabi ko sa sarili ko.

Kaasur... buhay nga naman talaga oo... pag tagtuyot, tuyot talaga.

Hay!ika nga namin nina Pamar nung highschool, BROWNOUT!!

Salad for Sale!

2006-01-27T19:58:00.000+08:00

Pauwi na ko nung monday galing school. Huling jeep na ng biglang

may nakita akong salad vendor. Alam nyo yun? Yung nakabisikleta

tapos may tindang buko salad, fruit salad at mac salad?

Dati pa ako na-aamaze sa mga ganun...para kasing nakakatakam.

Pinagmamasdan ko lang yung mamang nagbebenta at yung green niyang

kariton.

Nagulantang na lang ako nung makita ko yung pangalan nang mini-business

niya. Nakasulat ng malaki:

JEB' S SALAD

Nasabi ko tuloy sa sarili ko: "mmmmmmm...nakakagana!"

Eavesdrop (part 2)

2006-01-20T22:03:00.000+08:00

B: kakaiba ka talga D!!! feeling ko medyo matagal ako nag-ponder this time pero as always,
tama ka...
D: hehe.. talaga? Tell me about it..
B: iba talaga nagagawa ng pagpapalipas ng oras...mas nakakapag-isip ka, napapadaan mo ang
mga pansamantalang pakiramdam, mas nakakapag-isip ka without clouded emotions...mas
nababalance mo ang paggamit ng puso at utak.
D: what did you learn?
B: um, di ko alam kung meron talaga ako natutunan na eh...parang it's more of "narealize"...
D: uhuh...
B: narealize ko na hindi pala siya ang namimiss ko. Ikaw pala! Ikaw pala all this time... hindi
naman sa nawala ka ha. ako yung lumayo... lam ko naman na ikaw, never kang nawala at
never kang mawawala. Kaya nung narealize ko un, naiyak na lang ako dahil grabe ka
magmahal... you've been waiting for me all this time.
D: oo, hinihintay lang kita dito. Wag ka mag-alala, hindi kita iiwan! kahit kalian!!
B: salamat ha! I love you!
D: I love you din. Tahan na... it's now time to learn...
B: Opo. Hay, kay sarap mabuhay ng nandyan ka.
D: san na nga pala si C?
B: eun po, nanahimik na... nalaman ko na kasi ung dapat ko daw malaman. Babalik na lang daw po siya pag kailangan ko na siya ulit. Alam nyo po, nakatulong talaga ung kit-kat namin ni Nyoy, kailangan tlaga ng break paminsan minsan.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

I felt so empty for quite a time
I felt like I was not progressing
I thought I was missing someone
But it turned out that *spiritual dryness*
cast it's spell on me

I found out, I wasn't missing some one
I was missing THE ONE
He was beside me the whole time
But I pushed him away... slowly, unknowingly
Good thing He never leaves.

I fell down *AGAIN*
And you lovingly picked me up *AGAIN*
You said,
"Come, let's continue our journey. I'll carry you until you can walk on your own again."
This one's for you
They perfectly describe what I feel for you
My heart sings:

******
I Give You My Heart

This is my desire: to honor You.
Lord with all my heart i worship You.
All i have within me, I give you praise.
All that I adore is in You.

Lord I give You my heart,
I give You my soul, I live for You alone.
Every breath that I take,
Every moment i'm awake,
Lord have your way in me.
*****
You Are My World

My father, I adore You more than anything my heart could wish for
I just want You
And Jesus, my beloved Saviour
Everything I have, I owe to you
I owe it all to You

And angels come and adore You
And we Your children worship You
You are my World
You are my God
And I lay down my life for You
You are my Lord
The One I love
No one could ever take your place

And everything I have
I give to You my Lord the One I live for
I live for You
And all my days are gifts from You
I pray I'd use them as You want me to use them for You
*****

2006-01-15T18:10:00.000+08:00

Two souls so alike can come in such different packages. The Lord's creativity!

One, taking an active and assertive embodiment. The other, a passive and calm one.

Their conversations are a wonder to listen to - deep, sensible, honest and without fear of sounding self-righteous. Purely truths and ideas.

I'm glad I got to know the real you, the person you're striving to become. I am blessed and inspired once more!

I never thought... but again, God moves in mysterious and wonderful ways.

You said you're strengthening your faith. And that mine is already strong. But guess what! We're both just sinners who are forgiven and loved again and again.

And we're both just disciples traversing this journey of life and faith.

I'd love to walk with you in fellowship.

I'm so happy you chose to go through the ordeals and challenges of a life of faith. I guess you also know, it's worth it.

My prayer for today is that we both receive the grace and strength to always cast our sight on the Almighty and to live a life of faith and love for God.

*** To a friend whom I call Tiffy. See you in Mexico! **wink wink**

Sacrament of the Mundane

2006-01-11T17:59:00.000+08:00

By: Rissa Singson

One December morning, I groggily sauntered to the bathroom.
The previous night, I was out late on a date, with my eldest sister tagging along as a third wheel.
That was a first since my Ate and I are ten years apart and never really became buddies.

As I brushed my teeth, I could hear my Dad helping my youngest sister carry her new oven downstairs.
It was going to be installed in her almost-finished house that day.

Then I remembered that my other Ate had checked in to give birth to her third daughter.

And soon, it would be my first Christmas Eve at home in years.
Suddenly, tears flooded my eyes.
What seemed like an ordinary day instantly became a memorable, special day because of the simplest of things.
Right then my heart overflowed with thanksgiving and praise to God for all the great things He was doing in my life.
What's even greater was the fact that I recognized them as they happened.

Every day, we have the chance to enjoy what I call the sacrament of the mundane, the serendipity of the divine in the ordinary.

Just like Mary, let's not let the great things of God pass us by.
Open your spirit to see Him at work in the most commonplace of things.

Then watch the normal turn into the extraordinary.

*******************************************************************

Lord, let me not be blind to the great things You do in my life every day.

Eavesdrop

2006-01-03T23:07:00.000+08:00

A: Hi! Ngayon ba ang Mahiwagang Araw mo? Basta lam ko kasi mas una ka sakin eh...
hehe! Binabati lang kita! Godbless You and your family!

B: Ano ba 'to? Nagkakalimot-limutan lang o talagang nakalimot?!
B: Oo, ngayon nga. Salamat ha! Kaw din malapit na Mahiwagang Araw mo ah! Yaan mo, babatiin
din kita nun!

************************

B: Hi! Mahiwagang Araw mo na! Lahat ng kasayahan sa mundo, sana mapasaiyo. Ano ginagawa
mo? Kamusta ka na?

A: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

************************

B: Bat ganun? Namimiss ko ata siya?

C: At bakit naman aber?!

B: Wala lang, naiisip ko lang siya tsaka yung kung ano kaya.

C: Ano naman namimiss mo sakanya?

B: Ewan. Madami. Yung nakakatuwang mukha niya. Yung mga patawa niya. Yung pag-alala
niya. Yung pagkamatakaw niya... Basta siya!

C: Eh sigurado ka bang yun nga ang namimiss mo sakanya? If I know, namimiss mo lang yung
atensyon na binibigay niya sayo nun eh. Yung interes niya sayo. Tama ba ko?

B: ................

C: Oist!

B: Natatakot nga ko baka totoo yang sinabi mo eh. Ay! Ayaw ko naman ng ganun! Ang selfish! Di
tama yun! E ano gagawin ko?! D, tulungan mo naman ako oh.

D: O, bakit?

B: Bat parang natatawa ka diyan?! Ayan nanaman yang all-knowing grin mo ha! Pati tuloy ako,
natatawa! Kala mo naman lam mo lahat!... Ay, o nga pala, lam mo naman talaga lahat. Hehe!
Sensyi!

D: Wag ka mag-alala. May kailangan ka kasing matutunan e.

B: Nanaman?! Kinakabahan ako sa tono niyan ah!

D: Wag ka mag-alala...

C & D: Andito kami okey?!

B: Okey! Okey! E kasi binibisita nanaman ako ni NFA eh.

C: Hala, sino un?!

B: Si need for assurance!

C: Bat andyan nanaman yang swanget na yan ha?

B: Ewan ko ba. Diniretso ko na to dati eh. Binasted ko na peys to peys. Makapal talaga mukha
eh! Tsaka lahat naman ng babae dinadalaw neto paminsan minsan eh.

C: O, anong ginawa mo ngayon?

B: Hay naku! Hirap palayasin eh. Kaya hinayaan ko na lang muna dyan sa sala.

C: Kinausap mo na?

B: Ah...eh...di pa eh...

C: Kausapin mo na!! kasi naman babalik balik pa eh.

B: Kaw naman o, sobrang dalang lang naman dumalaw eh. Hayaan na natin. Magsasawa din yan.

C: Sha sha, Tama ka. Pero sa ngayon, harapin mo muna okay?

B: E yun na nga ginagawa ko. Pero wait! Anong gagawin ko dun sa namimiss ko?!!

C: Eh sino at ano nga ba talaga namimiss mo?!

B: Hindi ko alam! Waah! Ayaw kong maging user! Haler!

C: Sa tingin mo mawawala din yan paglipas ng ilang araw?

B: Di ko pa alam. Tignan natin!

C: Di ka pwedeng magparamdam ha...

B: Oo, kasi may sarili na siyang buhay at masaya na siya.

C: Talaga?

B: Oo! Pwede lang akong makipagusap pag siya nauna. Dapat siguro do ako nagsalita ng tapos
noon no?

C: Ewan ko sayo!

D: Ehem...

B: Eh all-knowing, ano masesay mo? Tulong naman!! Ano ba?!

D: Wait ka lang diyan. Masyado madami iniisip mo eh. Relax! Tsaka hayaan mo munang umalis
si NFA, tapos tsaka ka magisip ulit.

B: Ay tama! Break muna ako! Uy kit-kat! Sabi ni Nyoy, have a break, have a kit-kat diba C?

Nyoy & C: Korek!

B: Nyoy, tara break tayo! Gusto ko dun sa mataas na mataas na mataas na bundok para kita
lahat ha?

Nyoy: Cge ba, tara!

B: Yey! Kanta ka ha!

C: Wait! Sama ko!

B: Bilis bilisan mo no!!

D: Yan, tama yan!
*****************************

Nalilito, Naguguluhan, Nalilito, Naguguluhan, Nalilito, Naguguluhan, Nalilito, Naguguluhan...

Tama na muna!!

Have a break, have a kit-kat!

If We Really Believed

2006-01-01T21:20:00.000+08:00

By: Bo Sanchez

*** An excerpt from his article, "The Greatest Miracle in The World", Kerygma, January 2006 Issue ***

One day, two friends, a
Communist and a Catholic, were
talking.

They walked into a Catholic church
while Mass was going on,
and they watched from the back.

The Communist turned to the Catholic
and asked, "What's that white thing
being raised by the priest?"

And the Catholic, who studied his
Catechism in Grade School, answered,
"That's the Body of Jesus."

"You mean to tell me that you Catholics
believe that your God is a piece of bread?"
the Communist asked.

"Yep, that's what we believe," the Catholic said.

The Communist frowned,
looked around at those attending the Mass,
and turned to his Catholic friend,
and said, "I don't believe you."

"Of course," the Catholic smiled,
"You're an atheist."
"No, no, no. I don't believe that YOU guys
believe that that piece of bread is God."

"Huh? Of course, we believe. We're Catholics."

"If you really believe that that piece
of bread is God - for crying out loud,
the moment I enter this Church,

I would be on my knees.
I would enter this Church worshiping.
I would cringe in terror and joy,
swept away by the frightening truth
that I am before the Almighty God.

You, my friend, do not believe."

Do you feel it in your belly?
Ouch.

Lalalala...

2005-12-30T21:56:00.000+08:00

Tsk tsk... mali ata un ah.
Tama ba?
Sensya na Lord ha.
Di kita kinonsult muna.
Masyado yata ako nadala nung sitwasyon.
Nabasa ko pa naman dati wag magpadala sa sitwasyon...
Hindi biro un. Ako un eh.
Pero kasi... di naman naintindihan ata eh.
Yaw ko naman balikan, baka akalain...
Eh hindi naman.haha! natawa naman ako sa sarili ko.
Hindi kasi naipaliwanag! Ayun!

Pero, o well..
Bahala na talaga si Lord.
Siya naman nakakaalam ng totoo eh.
Maaayos din yun.
Okay na din yun actually para makita ko talaga diba.
Hay! Nakakatakot ginawa ko ah.
‚ÄòDi ko pa ata nagawa yun dati
Pero ha, a part of me feels okay about it.
Kung dati ko ginawa yun, baka nawarla ako.. hehe!

2005-12-30T21:25:00.000+08:00

I noticed that fewer and fewer people have been giving out Fruitcakes during the holidays.
Or do we only have family friends who don't like to give it away?

Eh why not?!
Sayang naman...

Is it because they've become expensive?
Is it because fewer are being produced?
Have people forgotten that they can give away fruitcakes at the end of the year?
Or maybe..
People don't like to receive it, so they don't like to give it away.
Hmmm... Could be!

Sabagay, I never appreciated fruitcakes myself when I was younger.

First of all, they are fruity.
In my understanding then, cakes weren't supposed to be fruity.
They were supposed to be sweet...but not fruity.

Second, most of them were really hard.

Third, everyone was giving it away but only few were of good quality.
Kumbaga, madaming namigay ng fake. Onti lang yung orig kaya we were left with rock hard Fruitcakes on our Christmas dinner table as well as in our fridge.

The only thing I liked about them were their pretty packages.
Most of them came in gold boxes, others in native banig bags (the best to!)

As I grew older, the number of Fruitcakes on our Christmas dinner table began to lessen.
There were even Christmases when we had none.

Then, this year, someone finally gave us a Fruitcake again!
Excited nga ako eh nung nakita ko.
Tinanong ko kagad si ma kung kanino galing.
Kay Kapitan Pablo Lucas daw.

"AH SI KAP!!"

Naks, feeling close ako.hehe.
I was so happy kasi ang laki nung Fruitcake at mukhang moist at masarap!
When I ate a BIG piece of it, ang tamis!
Ang sarap pala neto!

Sarap ng WaLnUtS, CaShEw, FrUiTs at RhUm! Yum!
I relished every bite.
Sometimes talaga you need the absence of something in order to appreciate its presence.

Naisip ko nga, sana lagi ng mamigay mga people ng Fruitcake every year.
Actually, mas mabuti kung mas madalas mamigay ng Fruitcake mga tao.
Kahit nga semana santa, pag nagmomourn tayo, pwede pa rin mamigay ng Fruitcake.

Naapreciate ko na kasi Fruitcake ngayon.
Pero sana pag namigay tayo, Yung orig na para di lang natatambak.

Kayo din, try nyo kumain ulit ng orig na Fruitcake.
Namnamin nyo.
Pakalasahan nyo.
Pero most importantly, i-share nyo.
Better yet, mamigay din kayo ng Fruitcake.

Every Christmas, every okasyon...
Pero mas maganda, everyday.

Malay natin, may mapasaya tayong mga tao at i-feeling close din nila tayo.
Sabihin pa nila...

"AH SI (name natin) !!"

Tara, gayahin natin si Lord na Siyang nagbigay ng pinakamalaki at pinakamasarap na Fruitcake of all sa ating lahat.

Tara, lagi na din tayong magbigay at tumanggap ng orig na Fruitcake.

By the way, the title of this post is:

FRUITCAKE = LOVE

Happy New Year everyone!!
Bagong taon, Bagong ako...

Red nails

2005-12-27T23:41:00.000+08:00

My little sister received a kiddie nail polish set for CHristmas. It had two colors - red and glittery purple.

We played with it, I used the red one and she the other.

I've never been the kind who polished her nails but i was enjoying applying it at that moment.

We were in Pampanga then and we didn't bring nail polish remover, so for 2 days, my nails
were painted red.

My mom termed the color - POKPOK RED... My cousins - MENSTRUAL RED...

I noticed that while i had those red nails, i felt a bit weird. A part of me felt sophisticated.
A part of me felt ashamed.

Everytime i looked at them, i felt slightly...not myself. Its true what they say in Psychology: Dress yourself in a certain manner and you'll eventually feel and act in the same.

We finally went home to Manila...Before i slept, with a couple of cotton balls and a bottle of acetone, i finally was myself again...And it felt GOOD! Haaah...

i figured, RED NAILS AREN'T FOR ME.

isang araw sa buhay ni nenot...

2005-12-27T23:35:00.000+08:00

bakasyon na pero pumunta pa rin silang skul para ayusin ang ilang mahahalagang bagay na kailangan para gumradweyt...so un, kasama ang kanyang mga mabubuting kaibigan na sina mario, kaka, joeyboy, manget, iman, prinsesa1, prinsesa2, steve at pare, ginawa nila ang dapat gawin. Tumambay din sila sa bahay ni kaka pagkatapos para kumain at kumain ulit. Masaya sila. Masaya naman talaga pag kasama ang mga mabubuting kaibigan.

Pag-uwi niya, nabalitaan niyang may sakit pala ang aso niya. Dalawang araw ng di kumakain. tsk tsk. Di niya kasi maasikaso dahil lagi syang wala sa bahay. Alalang alala siya syempre, pumayat nga aso niya eh at tumamlay. Naisip niya, hindi yata ako naging mabuting ina ah. Inuna ang career. Kailangan eh.

Eto namang bunso niyang kapatid, sumabay pa. naku, e humirit pa ng, "Eh kasi ate, alis ka ng alis. Di mo na inaalagaan yung aso mo." Dahil dito (at dahil na din sa pagod at pag-aalala) sinungitan siya ni nenot at binara ng ganito, "E anong gusto mong gawin ko?! Huwag na mag-aral?! Huwag na pumasok?! Kung magsalita ka dyan, kala mo naman..." Naku! Lumabas nanaman pagka-maldita netong si nenot! Pagkasabi nito, pumasok siya sa banyo at naligo na. Alam ni nenot sa sarili niya na nalagay nanaman sa kinalalagyan niya ang bunsong kapatid. Ayaw sana niyang magalit kaso paminsan sumosobra itong isa eh. Hay!! Bad talaga o! Kailangang magtry harder na magbago...

Pagkatapos maligo, umakyat na siya sa napakalamig na kwarto. Hay, sarap talaga ng aircon! Nagsuot siya ng pambahay na sando na sobrang luma at warat warat na at ng short na presko. Di niya talaga matapon yung sando na yun eh. Naisip niya, diba lahat naman may ganung damit na di mapakawalan? Bago magcomputer e kumuha siya sa ref ng isang MALAKING bote ng tubig...habang nagtatype kasi siya e balak niyang magpakalasing sa tubig. Nagpatugtog din siya ng album ng paborito at hinahangaan niyang singer. Kakabasa ng dedications, nalaman niya na tunay ngang mga relihiyoso pala ang mga ito. Natuwa si nenot!

Pagod na siya kaya sandali lang siya nagcomputer. Bago matulog, nakipag-usap sandali sa pinakamamahal niya. Sabay zzzz...

2005-12-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

I was praying the whole day to see you... To be able to smile at you. Then, just when I lost all hope, you appeared in a glimpse. I managed to focus my sight on you. My heart leaped. My lips motioned ascending. My eyes roamed around you. Then, that familiar feeling surmounted... That pinch! I tried so hard to stay positive by thinking, you're not hers, at least not yet. Until she put her arms around yours and you let her. I struggled to keep composure, to pretend. I succeeded.

Voices told me my jewel is more beautiful than the one already around your arm. But a jewel, no matter how pretty, loses it's value when the beholder has it's eyes on another jewel. I guess I can't go on my discovery trip on your island... Just for now, I hope! Question is, should I still try to unveil your mystery even if it's a sure failure? Will I get pinched even more if I do? Or will it help me look forward to my next trip? I don‚Äôt know... I whisper to myself, Trust In The God Of Love...I'll let a few days pass. I'm sure this will wear of soon.

Hah! Infatuation.. such a silly thing!

Dahil sa kaiisip, nakalimutang magbayad ng pamasahe sa jeep. Sori manong drayber!

2005-12-19T23:37:00.000+08:00

Woah... Beautiful Eyes!...Captivating. I melt. I hope the heart is as beautiful. Id love to discover, one step at a time. Haven't felt this way for a long time...Childish. Careful. Don't want to mar it.

An unsolicited advice...

2005-12-09T20:57:00.000+08:00

I really appreciated an old friend‚Äôs concern for me... I felt his sincerity and I truly cherish him as a friend. We shared a lot of laughs together.

But... (I know!! Here it goes...) he gave me an unsolicited (but I believe, a well-intentioned one...) advice. I‚Äôm sure he meant no harm and he did not mean to insult me. Don‚Äôt get me wrong, no offense was taken on my part. I just felt, well... a bit misunderstood. And I know, that no matter how I try to explain to him my perspective, my view, my reasons... He just won‚Äôt understand me...or maybe not yet. I believe there is a proper time for everything and a proper circumstance.

I felt misunderstood because his advice struck me as if he was implying that I am rigid, that I am depriving myself of the ‚Äúbest‚Äù things in life because I follow ‚Äúrules‚Äù too much... that I do not give in to the ‚Äúdesires of my heart‚Äù. It‚Äôs quite sad pala to be misunderstood. But then I chose to lighten up for there are other, sadder things in life.

I had to clear my mind of all these questions:

When you try to live your life the best way you can by avoiding evil and searching for the good, is that being rigid?

When you find happiness and enjoyment in the simple things in life, is that being rigid?

When you say go on with life without regrets, does that mean giving in to every feeling, urge and passion without thinking of the consequences?

Has this world really become a lax world?

Have we changed so greatly that what we used to consider as good and proper is now ‚Äúold-fashioned‚Äù and rare, and what we used to see as bad and shameful is now cool and enjoying..normal?!

Does patiently waiting and preparing for the love of your life mean you do not listen to your heart?

Does following the cloud, and not the crowd make you an unhappy person?

Well, I believe my friend and I are too different from one another in some areas of our lives that we will not comprehend each other yet. We have different definitions of success, happiness, ‚Äúhaving no regrets in life‚Äù, and following your heart.

Just to let you know, I AM HAPPY, I have no regrets.... only resolutions, which I have the rest of my life to fulfill, and I definitely listen to my heart. But I also consider what my mind has to say... Thank you for your advice though! If rigid is your term of my life‚Äôs definition, then so be it. I love my life the way it is and the way I‚Äôm going to make it be.

Maybe I took this one a bit far... but it got me thinking.
I pray we both be enlightened of the things we need more wisdom of.

Piece of advice... Love Your Advisers, Choose Their Advices.

i need to laugh

2005-12-04T21:19:00.000+08:00

sa mga nagsasabi dyan na eto ang level ng jokes namin ni chika..haha!yabang niyo ha! JOke!
they say...WISE PEOPLE ARE CORNY.
I SOOOO agree!!

Enjoy!

Lumindol ng malakas noon...
Nagkagulo ang lahat at nag panic!
Sumigaw ang isang lalaki..."Katapusan na! Katapusan na!"
sumagot ang isa pang lalaki... "Tanga! Akinse pa lang!"

TINDERO: Sir bili na kayo ng kurtina!
ERAP: Sige, bibili ako para sa computer ko!
TINDERO: Bakit po para sa computer?
ERAP: Haler! May Windows din kaya yun!

PARI: Ang gustong magbigay ng donasyon sa simbahan, TUMAYO pagtugtog ng organ.
Sige iho, tugtog na.
ORGANISTA: Ano po ang tutugtugin?
PARI: Pambansang awit, iho.

Aaylenay,
Olinay,
Olisam,
Olismray,
Ranyonmergin,
Manerenchay,
Oliimansotennernmay,
Sliminemenlimis,
Sliminemenlimis,
("Silent Night" ng ngongo.)

be in touch with your emotions..

2005-12-04T21:09:00.000+08:00

i never thought CRYING felt so good. whether it be tears of joy, of love, of anger, or of sadness...
Catharsis...i guess that's what it is..
i think i forgot that being in touch with your other emotions beside happiness could also bring much joy.
Thankyou for emotion Your Majesty.
They make me grow.
They make me emotionally broke.
They make me whole.
They make me real...

Hilaw pa‚Ä¶

2005-11-25T23:52:00.000+08:00

I believe the most beautiful thing in this universe is Perfect Love...which only God can do and can provide. But it is when we, mere (imperfect) humans, try our very best to love perfectly fellow imperfect people, is God very pleased...

Someday, I hope to be able to construe love not with good things and feelings that another person can give to me, but instead, of the goodness, care, charity and sacrifice that I can give to another person. To give without asking or expecting anything in return...Loving with no ulterior motives. Loving unconditionally. Loving like Jesus loved. (Being abused is a different matter. A truly loving person does not allow other people to abuse him because in the process, he is not loving his abusers. He is merely tolerating their evil acts, thus letting them grow in evil even more.)

Nope. I‚Äôm not just talking about marriage. It‚Äôs more than that. It‚Äôs the kind of love I would like to share with everyone, no matter how hard it is to love some of them. And they say, it all begins with loving oneself. You cannot give something you do not have.

On my own, this would be impossible. But with God, I could become a saint. I just pray that I will remain humble all my life. I pray that I will always remember that God needs to continue His work in me all my life. I pray that I will be like a fruit that never ripens until God comes to fetch me...because when a fruit ripens, ultimately, it will rot.

hirap maging nanay!!

2005-11-14T22:43:00.000+08:00

o may gashz!nanay na ako..ahehe. to my little puppy lang syempre.
thanks to my friend ralph(tay!!hehe..), i've entered a new world..the world of responsibility. haha!
after weeks of agonizing over what name will be most suited for my little pet, i finally decided on tyler...hmm...the reason?i prefer to keep it to myself. Although some of you may already know y..haha.
just so you know, the choices were:
a.) birdie
b.) fishie
c.) pepperoni (wer did that come from?!)

it was a tough decision...but when i saw him, i just coudn't dare name him any of the above..

right now, i'm having a hard time cleaning his wizz and poop...but i'm learning from the experts how to potty train him so...

anyway, i'm now thinking of getting a fighting fish...they can stay alone in a bowl and still live...low maintenance..hehe!

i wonder what i'l name him?hmm..doggie perhaps..hahaha!

oops!gotta go! i think my child is wizzing again.. TYLEEERRR!!

Sweetheart Looks At Marriage

2005-11-10T19:15:00.000+08:00

A bride declared to her husband on the eve of their marriage: ‚ÄòWhat I most desire is that between us there should not be any thoughts which might tend to separate us: we must be only one soul. Our marriage must be something eternal.‚Äô

Frederic Ozanam wrote: ‚ÄòIf I ever have to unite my life with another creature, I should like her to be endowed with all those exterior charms, which will not make me regret having chosen this instead of the religious life.

‚ÄòBut, above all, I would like her to come to me with a beautiful soul, proved virtue and with something greater than what I have and what I am‚Ä¶

Hi! I'm Ness...

2005-11-10T19:10:00.000+08:00

My posts are most often beautiful (in my belief‚Ä¶) passages from many and different enlightened and wise people who were able to jot down in simple text their ideas and idealisms. Since I am not and was never really talented in writing or expressing my innermost, valued beliefs, ideas and values, I will let these passages be the more appropriate and able conveyers. Besides, it was through these writers and their pieces from which I learned and formed my own values‚Ä¶my self. So as I present to you these writers and their creations, I am also presenting to you a part of me‚Ä¶ Get to know me through them‚Ä¶:)

blah blahs..

2005-11-06T16:10:00.000+08:00

i learned very valuable things today...

1. Other people are mirrors. Everyone around you is a mirror!! You are what you see in them.. sheesh! this one got me thinking..

2. Don't correct someone if u enjoy doing so!St. Benedict said that if you do, even if you enjoy it just ateeny-weeny bit, DON'T DO IT!! You might end up not living a life of Incarnation of God's love..

+++++++++++++++++

Waaah! Wala na si Sam!! Kainis! Esdi, wag ka mayabang dyan. Alam ko na panalo ka!!wahehe!! O ano gusto mo libre? hehehe..

+++++++++++++++++

Grabe, tapos na sembreak. I had a wonderful vacation!! Its nice to get away from tv, from smoke and pollution, from manila... and get in touch with good books, with family, with nature, with fish (hehe) and with rest. Thankyou God!

kanye west...

2005-10-01T21:56:00.000+08:00

Kanye West‚Ä¶

One of the few truly unique hip-hop artists to revel atop the commercial
side of the industry during the early 2000s, Kanye West spent most of his time producing flavorful hits for Jay-Z and other top-tier rappers, yet he eventually
seized the opportunity to launch his own rapping career as well. Granted, West himself wasn't a phenomenal rapper, but he had a lot going for him. For one, he was
witty, coming up with off-the-wall lyrics like "She's got a light-skinned friend look like Michael Jackson/Got a dark-skinned friend look like Michael Jackson" that
were smart and funny at the same time, even if they didn't employ elaborate rhyming schemes √† la Rakim or street-prophet motifs √† la Nas.

Secondly, he had a singsong flow that made him seem like an Everyman rapper as if he were your homeboy from down the street (or perhaps you yourself),
even though he was, in fact, a seasoned rapper who'd been spitting game since he first heard Run-D.M.C. way back in the day. Moreover, his beatmaking
skills were peerless: a trademark pitched-up, chopped-up use of somewhat recognizable samples for his hooks, and a likewise trademark stutter-step
drum-programming touch for his rhythms -- a simple yet potent combination. And lastly, because of his hitmaking credentials, he had ties to some
of the top names in the industry, from Jay-Z and Ludacris to Dame Dash and Jamie Foxx, all of whom helped West get his solo career off the ground with a bang.
That bang happened during the opening weeks of 2004, when not one but two songs featuring him as a rapper ("Through the Wire" and "Slow Jamz") were
downright ubiquitous, saturating music-video television and urban radio all the while skyrocketing to the top of the charts.

Of course, West was no stranger to success, having produced hits for years, but suddenly he wasn't just an in-demand producer -- he was It, the latest
in a long line of momentarily brand-new, red-hot rappers thrust into the mass-media spotlight. Yet at the same time, West wasn't your ordinary superstar
rapper. Again, he was very much your Everyman rapper, relying more on his wit and his earnestness (and his own beatmaking) than the usual
cocktail of sex, drugs, violence, and street dreams (though he did have a good car-accident back-story) -- all of which, of course, was refreshing circa
2004 in the wake of 50 Cent.

What's your peanut butter? Pick Your Pleasures Intelligently

2005-09-30T11:52:00.000+08:00

What's your peanut butter? Pick Your Pleasures Intelligently

I love peanut butter.
I eat it solo, slurping it with a spoon.
I know, i'm crazy.
I've got two or three bottles in the fridge
- just to make sure i don't suddenly run out.
My crazy love affair with peanut butter
began as a kid.
Days before Christmas, I'd write a note to Santa,
asking for my very own bottle of peanut
butter. Naturally, my parents were ecstatic.
While other kids were asking for remote control
cars ans elaborate train sets, I was asking for
a grocery item.
Yep, I'm hopelessly addicted.
I've already psychoanalyzed myself,
delved deep into my subconscious and relived
my childhood memories. And after years of
inner processing, I've finally discovered why I
live peanut butter...
It's delicious.
Okay, that's not a very bright answer.
But i actually like my addiction.
i refuse to get treatment.
First, it's legal.
I don't have to go to dark alleys to get my fix.
In fact, i can sniff, scoop and slurp my peanut
butter in front of a squadron of policemen-
and they can only stare.
Second, no one gets hurt.
Including myself. I've been buying the one
made from organically grown peanuts, with low
or no sugar, and less saturated fat. (i'm also
addicted to health.)
Third, it's simple.
While others get their high from buying a
new car- i get mine by sitting at home
eating peanut butter.
I've learned that we can pick our pleasures.
The easier and more attainable they are,
the happier you will be.

What's your peanut butter?

- Bo Sanchez
Kerygma

it's been a while..

2005-09-28T09:02:00.000+08:00

tagal ko na hindi nag-popost..pano kasi halong katamaran at hirap sa pag-connect..ahehe! thanks friends for still visiting my blog and asking me for a post..

anyway, im hir at soc psy waiting for my thesis members..kaya i decided to post muna..

what has been going on in my mind? madami..besides thesis and practicum (im sure, my blokmates have the same things in their minds), life.. bakit ba ang busy natin? in the long run, will it really matter if i do well in school? hehe.. siguro..

but it keeps occuring to me, there's more to life than hard work. that is- a beautiful heart, a beautiful soul.. why is it that even if i know this for a fact, i can't seem to have it?! what i mean is, always have it.. i guess, because i am human.. prone to mistakes, wrong decisions, hurtful thoughts and deeds, hypocrisy, evil temptations..

but then again, God is there..to show me the meaning and perfect example of true love, of perfect and unconditional love..
He humbles me, He reminds me, He loves me..

In the journey towards holiness and Godliness, ive a long long long loooooooong (get the point?!) way to go, yet i do not give up, i will struggle, because i know at the end of the journey, all of the hardships and sacrifices are worth it..no doubt.. i just have to believe and have faith..

i pray that whatever i go through, God will grant me the grace and the strength to keep my eyes on Him. For it is only through HIm that i will survive and love others in this journey called Life.. Amen.

ahehehe..in love lang ako kaya ganito.. Godbless friends!

thanks blockmates...

2004-09-10T10:23:00.000+08:00

dear classmates,
uy guyz, i just wanted to thank you kasi all of you have been so supportive samin ni cesare..GRABE!as in.. sabi ko nga kay michael, konti na lang tlaga, matotouch na ko! hehe! pero syempre, that's an understatement..sobrang touched na kaya ako! thanks tlaga ha! DOn't worry, ibibigay namin ni cesare ang best namin for you...sating lahat to mga 'tol! kaya kahit di man tayo manalo...kitang kita naman ang pagmamahal nating lahat sa isa't-isa..kakaiba talaga kayo guyz! nung umpisa talaga parang medyo hesitant ako, kasi sobrang stress at kahihiyan nanaman un..pero nung nakita ko talaga ung suporta niyo..hay grabe, nakakalakas ng loob.. talagang gumastos pa kayo para dito..at nagtabi ng time para magparticipate..hay!thanks tlaga! from the bottom of our hearts, THANKS PO TLAGA! d best kayo 3c...kaya mahala na mahal tayo ni sir budj e..he sees something special in us...(bukod sa mga pagka-OC OC natin at pagka-narci at apathetic natin..hehehe!) Once again, salamey fwends!!!muah!

super thanks sa mga kadorm kong baliw(she,le at MABS!!haha!), sa mga luck "14" este "13" pala..hehe!peace gay at kyang!, sa mga PLP..love you guyz!d best kayo sa kalokohan!, sa mga alipores ni loulala na mga suplada..hehe!joke!, sa mga prinsesa ng block...sina pretty girl pai, ana, pinas...at syempre, *sniff sniff*, sa mga manangsters at ang mga ampon naming sina lei,mike at laurs..kakaiba kayo guyz! la ako masabi sa pagmamahal nyo!hehe! salamat sa pagsuport,pagpapahiram ng damit, sa pagpunta at sa pagppray for us!I love you guyz so much!

basta, sa lahat lahat talaga sa block..cge,pati na ireg..hehe! thanks po! Muah! Luvyou all!! Godbless!

the girl in front of me...

2004-08-31T14:53:00.000+08:00

hahaha~nakakatawa lang.. as i was chekin out your blogs..i was so engrossed into reading the new posts and tags..then suddenly, nung pumunta ko sa page ni..hindi ko na matandaan..basta itim ung background, nakita ko ung mukha ko sa screen. diba ganon naman tlaga pag black ang aback ground ng screen? at natawa ako sa sarili ko dahil ang itsura ko,parang batang eager na eager, tsaka parng maiiyak na...basta, gets nyo ba?hahaha!

tapos naisip ko, ganon pala itsura ko pag nagtatype..hahaha! kayo, ano itsura nyo pag nagcocomputer? try nyo nga...

why?

2004-08-17T15:02:00.000+08:00

i'm a bonafide member of the NBSB org..and i'm lovin it..but there's one thing that sorta bothers me..those who have decided to leave the org(NBSB/NGSB) already and have already gone through the experience of being intimately close with some1 usually(actuall, almost always) return with the hearts broken,their ideal perception of love diminished..why? i always hear stories of other people..about their being hurt and their being left..and so on..and i sympathize with them..i truly do..yet iba pa rin tlaga pag ikaw na ang nakaramdam..(that's what i always get..) i agree with them..iba na nga tlaga pag ako ang nandun sa situation na un..and then, i think about it age..do i really agree completely..maybe not.i've always thought falling in love is a BEAUTIFUL thing..more than i can presently imagine..i've always been optimistic bout love..i have imagined myself getting hurt or left by sum1 i love and just thinkin bout the possibility hurt me..it really did..yet somehow, thee's always somethin inside me saying, i can be hurt, really hurt..as in! but i'm sure, i will always get up! i will always recover! and i will love agen!! one of my greatest and most treasured philosophies in life..never center ur life on one thing or one person..no matter how significant that person is in ur life..why? because pipol and things will always fade,will always die,will never last..and when they do, u will also perish,u will also die..Center ur lifeon something that will last forever..something eternal..then invest on it..there's onlyone Person who will last forever..and i choose to be with HIm. I want to fall in love someday..it's #1 in my wishlist actually..when i fall in love, i don't want it to be like the stories ive heard,,definitely not!that's why i'm preparing myself, while i'm still in NBSB..hehe..to be the right woman..instead of spending time looking for mr.right, im preparing to be ms.right..coz i know,,when i do, it will be worth everything and worth the wait..i definitely respect those who decided to leave NBSB/NGSB org early..it was their choice and they learned a lot from their experiences, they chose to take the risk of going out into the open, they were in love and therefore brave..but i have to say, i also learned a lot and still am learning even if im still in the org..haaay..love, everyone talks bout it..thank God for it.. so to everyone who think that we, who still choose to remain in NBSB/NGSB, are naive and are missin out on a lot or will have the same pessimistic feelings about love..think agen..WHY?..because some of us..make that, most of us, have come prepared..:)

hmmm..

2004-08-13T16:53:00.000+08:00

hey Papa God,
You know what, i.m so hapi ryt now..even in the midst of anxiety born out of tremendous pile of schoolwork, u still take my breath away. It just feels so good to be with you every moment of my life...to know that i don't have to be someone else to be loved and accepted by You, to know that you're always willing to forgive me when i ignore you, to count my smallest blessings that are in fact the biggest source of my delight, to know that i have the most loyal and true friend in You, to know that Ur like an excited and intent dog waggling it's tail when i talk to you, to know that whatever happens, U are there for me, to know that i don't have to get the highest grades or to be the most beautiful girl in the world to be loved by You...to be effortless and even lifeless yet still loved by you..simply, to be alive and know that You exist! Thankyou! I love you too..

Papa God, i also offer a prayer for all of my friends who are troubled, who are sick, who are lonely, sad, and heartbroken..may You enlighten and heal them..help them to see the true meaning of love and may they find true and eternal happiness..i also pray that they realize how much you love them... give us all the wisdom and strength to recognize You in everything that we do and in everyone whom we meet..

I also pray for those who have already realized You're love for them, may they continue to be blessed by Your love and may they share their new found happiness to others..
Help us to love one another as You loved us..

Papa God, singit ko lang..thanks din for the kilig moments na bine-bless mo sakin..hehe! Iba talaga pagka total trust and surrender sayo..lalo na sa mga ganong bagay..hehe! Thanks!

Ur daughter,
n3$$

The psych behind the BLOG FEVER...

2004-07-11T03:02:00.000+08:00

The psych behind the BLOG FEVER‚Ä¶

After hearing so much about blog from my restless blockmates, and after visiting their sites, I finally decided to make one myself‚Ä¶then I wondered why I got attracted to the idea of blog and why everyone (atleast in my block) is so into it‚Ä¶
Michael and I briefly discussed about it one day while we were waiting for our experimental psy class‚Ä¶

It‚Äôs actually a great way of REALLY knowing your friends and blockmates. When we‚Äôre in class, we talk to each other, but we don‚Äôt discuss our deep thoughts and feelings with everyone‚Ä¶but with blog, you get to tell everyone how you really feel and what you‚Äôre really thinking. You also get to understand other people better‚Ä¶and you also become understood better.

In a way, you get to be close with you‚Äôre friends without even conversing with them‚Ä¶you get to update them, sympathize with them, comfort them or just tell them about your day. You share your thoughts, ideas and most importantly, you‚Äôre problems.

I finally concluded, everyone just wants someone to talk to, someone to listen to them. We may all look superior, aloof and happy outside our blogs but all we really want is a friend‚Ä¶right? Admit it guyz! That‚Äôs why blog is really patok with us‚Ä¶ man is naturally a social being‚Ä¶ man can never stand alone‚Ä¶we need each other.

So keep bloggin‚Äô (the term?!)!! It‚Äôs really a great way of connecting with others and knowing that you‚Äôre not alone. Someone‚Äôs always ready to help! Peace everyone!
Mike, finally got you‚Äôre point bout blog‚Ä¶hehehe!

A TRIBUTE TO THE HEART-BROKEN‚Ä¶

2004-07-03T23:49:00.000+08:00

I noticed that most of my friends are heart-broken..so when I was scanning my cds, I decided to pick a song for each of them which I thought would somehow describe what they are going through.
So here‚Äôs a tribute to to the HEART-BROKEN:

First up, Jelo!! Don't know if you know this song..ganda nito!
Remember the last stanza ha..kaya mo yan!:)

Once in a Blue Moon
By Sydney Forrest

The room is empty
The lights are dim
And my heart wonders
If I'll ever see you again

My tears are hungry
For an open door
When your arms held me
I never felt that way before

Chorus:
And I'll be waiting
And I'll be watching
Under a blue moon

A taste of heaven
Could only happen
Once in a blue moon

Do you remember
The wind blew free
We fit together
So naturally

Chorus

If the wind
Closes a door
It will open another

Chorus

Next up, Lei!! Lam ko ung make me whole ni amiel larriuex ang song mo for him before..pero now, eto na siguro dapat mo gawin..oldie but goody!

One Last Cry
By Bryan Mcknight

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind
This time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry

I was here
You were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind
This time
Been living a lie
I know I've gotta be strong
But around me life goes on
And on, and on, and on

I'm gonna dry my eyes
Right after I get my
One last cry

Chorus2

And lastly, Lele..the most dramatic and telenovela-like story..hehehe!

I Won't Cry
By Profyle

Oh what can I say?
You came and got your things today
I parked your car
I watched you drive away
I cried so many tears that day
It burned my face
It felt like acid rain
I know I can't keep lying to myself
I said I'd be content with someone else
I know I never had to face the pain
Baby, baby

Chorus:
I won't cry no more
I won't drown in my tears
I won't die no more
I've got over my fears
And I'm moving on
Boy I know what to do
Coz I'm better of without you
And we both know that it's true

It's gonna take a little time
To stick in my mind
The fact that you're gone for good
Coz when you said you're leaving me
I heard it before
I never really thought you were
Baby I should be glad that you've gone away
I know the pain would not be here to stay
If only I could fool myself maybe
Baby

Chorus

I know it's hard enough
To fall in and out of love
But when something is gone
To keep holding on
Will only break your heart
So I won't play the fool
By begging you to stay
I want to keep it inside
Till you're out of sight
Maybe this way

Chorus

And we both know we're through

Kaya nyo yan mga frens..lilipas din yan! Try not to live in the past..but for the future! At syempre, pinakimportant, TRUST IN GOD!

uwian NA!! uwian NA!! den,den,de-den,den,de-den,den,de-den..

2004-07-02T13:39:00.000+08:00

i'm back HOME! my real home! atlast!!! it's finally friday!
i started my day by attending the 6am mass at UST then i went to class after. Almost 3/4 of the class was late..probably because of the weather or maybe they were preparing their badminton gears..which UNFORTUNATELY, i cannot go to..huhu! we had our presentations which none of us were prepared for..maybe again, because of the anticipation to play badminton which UNFORTUNATELY again, i could not go to..huhu! aniweiz, after class, they got ready to go while i went to my dorm to prepare my things..i was really, really excited to go home! then i waited for my kuya because he was going to fetch me. As we reached the gate of our house, my anticipation was at its peak..i ran to the kitchen and made mano to my mom and ate..boy!the smile on their faces when they saw me was so moving!i really saw that they were happy to see me again..they even made "palakpak" jokingly..haha!and so, after so much kwento, i finally went up to our room..and i was so surprised and touched to see,on my bed, a neatly, home made bond paper card from our 9-yr.old bunso..what was written inside just made me cry..its still does now:

on the outside:
welcome again ate ness!

on the inside:
Dear: Ate ness
Doon ka na ba matutulog ha? tapos uuwi ka dito friday hanggang sunday. kailan ka ba talaga matutulog dito? ate ness sana minsan tawag ka dito. masaya ba doon ha? wala ba nangyayari pag umuuwi ka galing school.mabuti naman kung wala atlis(she spelled it this way..hihihi!)walang nangyayari sayo no. oo nga pala may kasama ka naman pala si ate sheryl ba iyon? basta ingat ka din minsan. Muah! I LOVE YOU!

From: Noreen

and then she even drew a snail and a penguin at the corners of the paper and labeled them...SNAIL, PENGUIN..hehehe..

At the last part in BIG, CURSIVE letters:

BE CAREFUL EVERYDAY IN YOUR WAY

It just swept me off my feet..it made my week away from home all worth it..:)

mynew home..

2004-06-30T09:05:00.000+08:00

so far, living in a dorm isn't that bad after all..especially when you have nice friends with you and make chikadoras all night long..(which explains my humongous eyebags..) hehe! you just miss the lutong bahay, your bed, the comforting scent of your mom, the kabaklaan of your ate and the ingay of your household..haay..well, im sure almost everyone experiences this when they have to live away from home.. i guess maybe that explains why one of our roommates tries in vain to make our room feel as home as possible by bringing all her hello kitty clocks and decors..hehehe!such a cute and sweet girl! and the washroom my golly!it's literally just a wash room! because of its minute and petite size, all you CAN really do is wash your hands!!waah! but im learning to love it anyway..i just needed to share it..and the scary stories!waaaah! when do they end?! i really don't get affected by them but i just hope people would stop talking about them because their just scaring themselves.. oi, she!!tingin ka sa likod mo, bka may mumu!hahaha!just joking she! i love to scare she and lele!i don't really blame the two for being quite scared of our dorm because naman the study hall,it's a freak show!!how can you study when you're there are antique and dusty sofa sets and grandfather clocks all around you! and the PORTRAIT OF THE OWNERS of the former hospital, is so CREEEEEPY! hehehe! but its okay, im learning to love it as well.. next, the elevator, no major issue bout it..it just(once again) gives lele and she the creeps because they got to see the "the eye" movie and according to them, it had an elevator scene..the guards and the bantay..they're okay din.. im beginning to love them too.. i can go on and on about all the new and sometimes creepy and uncomfortable experiences in my new home but i only want to emphasize one point..TRY TO LOVE EVERYTHING THAT COMES YOUR WAY..it's super hard ofcourse! but what it can do for you..aah..all worth it..but how can you love problems, trials, rejection, hurt, and failure?! ACCEPT IT! just accept it..and trust in God's plan..then try to make the most of it.. it sounds so cliche but the problem with cliches is that they get taken for granted..its cliche because its what we should really do yet we don't do it..we simply know it.. aniweiz, ope you guyz love everything that comes your way..besides, everything DOES happen for a GOOD reason..we may never know what that good reason is until we die but rest assured that another PERSON did..till my next post!God bless ya al!ill be praying for you friends! muah!

I'm AliVe!!!

2004-06-30T09:02:00.000+08:00

heyo friends!
i finally decided to make my blogger account because of popular demand..hahaha! joking! thank you all for visiting my page..ope you all continue to do so.. Godbless ya al!